roomie dinner!

well my roomie moved in today, and we decided to make something fun for dinner! soo, we cooked up some steaks, corn & cous cous -- i'm not gonna lie, i'm a little proud of us. it turned out soooo good! we only had a few minor mishaps err.. (exploding water, butter catastrophes, burnt cous cous, broken utensils, etc.)

but, the important part is we did not do anything too terrbile, and everything turned out great!!

we even got extra ambitious and made banana bread- soo delicious. and we also planned our dinner menu for the rest of the week. we have really dif. class schedules, so we thought it would be nice to try and cook/eat dinner together as much as possible.... here's our menu for the week:

sunday- manicotti, garlic bread, carrots
monday-tacos & beans
tuesday- chicken, corn & pasta
wednesday- burgers, watermelon, mac & cheese
thursday- order a pizza!
friday- salmon & rice

:) i'm excited. i just love making lists and having a set plan for everything...it makes life so much easier. and a lot more exciting!

i miss my family and my dog.

i love that we have so many windows in our apartment.....it makes it so easy to watch people outside. ooh man. i'm so creepy.....

sweet pea!

**Edit**
meet Sweet pea!!

yayyy!! shes soooo cute!!!

**end edit**

umm so, big fail on my part: i still need to take pictures. things have been a little crazy here, and so i haven't had a chance to take any pictures yet.

so the past few days have been filled with passing out flyers about our church to try and get new students involved. it's fun, but it's a little awkward. i've always considered myself a friendly person...but it definitely takes me out of my comfort zone to just walk up to people, hand them flyers, strike up an (awkward) conversation with them. but it's worth it so we can have some fun, new people around!!

i can't lie....i've been a really mopey blogger lately. and unfortunately i feel like it's going to continue. i'm just really crazy homesick - not wanting to be here at all. i feel like i have no reason to be here. i just feel like this is not the right school for me at all. and the hard part is im stuck with it - im halfway done, and do not want to pay back my scholarship...so. therefore, i.am.stuck.

i am always happy. like alwaaays usually. and i have not been happy at all lately - i've been the opposite of happy. it's weird. i don't like it. i feel really lost.

okay. sorry. enough complaining!!

my friends have a hamster in their apartment - it is a little itty, bitty dwarf hamster -- adorable. well, today they are getting a pet bunny too!! i'm so excited. its name is Sweet Pea, how cute is that?! i'm obsessed with animals. and so i'm totally excited to meet this new little cutie in just a little while.

we have a thing called "Outreach" at our church tonight - i'm not sure all that is going on, but i'm hoping it's fun. it's funny, a lot of my closest friends have moved away this year or are moving - funny thing is...i feel like im the one who moved away. i'm a junior now, isn't this supposed to feel like home now?

it feels far from it.

again, im so sorry for all the complaining. i just am at a loss as to what i should do.

upside - i just cooked noodles. :) yaaaaaaaaaaay. im learning to cook, one step at a time.

i opened up the Bible, to maybe get a little insight on how i'm feeling and i opened straight to this fabulous verse,

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."-Jeremiah 29:11

-as much as i want to believe this, i'm having a hard time with it lately.- *sigh*

maybe things will start looking up today? the sun is shining, it's friday, the new bunny is on it's way..... i'm not losing hope yet :)

I am a slacker.

yikes i've totally been slacking on my blog lately!

and also, is there a way for blogger to alert you when you get a comment on one of your posts? i was going through old blog entries and finding comments that i never saw. (Oops!) i'm sure there has to be some setting...i'll have to find it.

so today i took the best nap of my life. it was pretty great and pretty necessary.

last night i stayed up late with my friends playing catch phrase and watching movies. i don't know what got into us - but catch phrase became absolutely hilarious. everything was making me laugh for no reason at all. it felt good. :)

i have had the worst migraine all day long. Oof. not fun. and now that i took that nap i'm wide awake. sleep sounds so good right now, but i know it will be a long time still until i go to bed.

i went to surprise my friend the other night at a retreat he was helping lead. it was about 100 degrees out AND inside the retreat center! yikes.

this post was a little all over the place...i think next time i'll post pictures of our apartment :) keep in mind it is a college apartment so we can't do a whoooole lot...but i think it looks pretty cozy!

Oh...and i still have to do my headboard! i've been searching for the perfect fabric to use. haha. i was thinking a towely type fabric to sort of make it look like a beach towel...since my room has a beach theme?? we'll see. :)

i feel like a 5 year old starting her first day of kindergarten.

i do not want to go back to school.

not at all.

not even the slightest little bit...

Scary.

Today was such a scary day.

I woke up in a really good mood. My mom took the day off from work today so we were planning on either taking a trip to lake geneva for the day...or just shopping around here. and i woke up and it was so sunny and nice -- i woke up extra early, i was really anxious... it's almost like i knew the kind of day i was about to have.

my mom had to go to the emergency room today. i'm too tired to explain the details of the day because i feel like i've been retelling the story over and over again today. she is home now, and okay for the time being. but i don't really know how long that will last.

it just scared me a whole lot. i prayed all day long. i was thinking about how lost i'd be without my mom, one of my best friends. and then it led me to think how lost i'd be without my dad as well. my parents are my rock. the two people i can always ALWAYS rely on no matter what. no matter how much i mess up, no matter how horrible i feel, no matter what happens. they are there. and let's face it, both my parents have been really sick lately. moreso than they have let on. today just proved that fact.

did i mention i'm scared?

i feel like it is the worst possible time for me to go back to school.

i am so thankful for my mom, my dad, my dog ( =] )... maybe even my brother (haha totally kidding, of course him too!)

- i'm just really scared. -

i think i'm really good at pretending i'm not. but i am. more than i could possibly describe.
i actually think it's sort of funny. tonight one of my friends (who are all amazing btw. they were all SO good about making sure my mom was okay, offering anything they could to help, checking on me ... i'm lucky) asked me how i was doing. i considered it for a minute, put a huge smile on my face and said i was good. why do we do this? i feel like a lot of us do that. say we're okay when we're not. fight back tears that maybe we really need to stop fighting. smile to convince ourselves we're okay, when we may not be in that moment.

what if i had just replied with the truth?

" I'm not okay. I'm scared. "

Where did the weekend go?

I really can't get over how fast the days go by. It's crazy. I feel like I could blink and before I know it i'll be 80 years old. yikes! sometimes i just want a pause button. like right now for instance. that would be great. :)

this was a nice weekend... after my mishap with the gas-filling on friday, the rest of my day was not so great though. i had to go to the doctor and get a biopsy on my leg, and tons of bloodwork done! Oof. i'm not a huge fan of needles. i was so scared. i think i'm probably a doctor's worst nightmare (refer to dermatologist blog entry) but i did fine. :) i was a little proud of myself. i rambled away the whole entire time though to keep my mind off of it... i'm pretty sure i told the nurse my entire life story. they gave me a a disney princess sticker though. ha.

yesterday i did some more last minute things to get ready to move back to school and into my apartment. my dad and i drove all the way there, only to find they changed the lock and gave us the wrong key. it was a pretty big mess but we finally got everything straightened out. i was so tired by the end of it that i slept the whole way home. it was a good nap!! i ate at Cracker Barrel for lunch, it's such a fun restaurant! anyone heard of it? it's cute.

when we got home i watched "Return To Me" -- seriously an ADORABLE movie. if you haven't seen it, you definitely should. it was so sweet and i just loved it!

let's see..... today i went shopping at this outdoor mall by us with my mom. i didn't really buy much but it was perfect weather to be outside in. not too hot, but warm enough - with a nice breeze! then tonight i got to catch up with some of my friends over some delicious brownies. seriously, if you want to be my best friend forever- just give me sweets, cookies in particular. and cake. and cupcakes. yess. or maybe a whole bakery? i'd love you for life.

Random thought: I think i want to make my own headboard for my bed up at school. it doesn't have one. i was thinking of taking some of that thick white boarding (i don't know what it is called..) and just covering it in fabric. do you think that would work? i want something easy, but cute. hmm.

Okay well... i think i'm going to catch up on some tv. i DVR-ed Army Wives... i'm crazy about that show lately! Goodnight!

Seriously?! what is wrong with me??

well, let's just say this has been an eventful morning...

So. anyone out there ever explode gasoline all over themselves while trying to fill their tank??
*raises hand* oh right... that probably doesn't happen to most people, but it definitely just happened to me.

and i really wish i was exaggerating when i say EXPLODED. as in, practically my whole tank of gas shot out at me, covered me in gasoline, annnd got all over the car and ground. basically if you lit a match i'd have been in trouble. big trouble.

let me start out by explaining... (please do not think i am high maintenance, or spoiled, or anything because of what i am about to say. i promise you i am not.) i don't fill up my own gas tank much. i just really don't like filling up my tank, and my dad loves me and always offers to do it for me. what can i say? i'm lucky.

but today... we were going to the city, and my dad asked me to fill it up. so i agreed, i mean what could really go wrong?! obviously a lot. i felt like such an idiot. i just started laughing hysterically because i didn't know what else to do...that's when things got more awkward i had this little conversation...

*random guy walks over to me* let's call him... fred? okay. fred.

fred: *laughs awkwardly* this has not been my day...
me: you're telling me! i just exploded gas all over the place!!
fred: oh yikes. so is that why you were laughing? i thought you were laughing at me..
(what?!)
me: oh... no, i wasn't..
fred: because you see i started to fill up my car with diesel gas.
me: oh, oops!
fred: yeah. obviously we're both having bad mornings!
me: looks like it..

haha im not sure, it was strange. poor guy. why would i laugh at him?! sad day.

well. after all of this we finally go to chicago, and to my friend's apartment....the first thing she said to me was, "Do you smell gasoline??"

i simply replied with, "ah yes, it's my new perfume! so you don't like it?!"

:)

i finished off the morning with a stop at SuperDawg! I have heard sooo much about this place from everyone and finally went! it was great! delicious and so much fun. :) i definitely want to go back.

well off to do a thousand + one things! happy friday!!