i feel like i am just stuck in a rut lately. i'm so grumpy! and i feel very......distant. from everything. i wish i knew how to explain it.
any suggestions on how to get out of a rut? haha.
i don't feel good still, maybe that's what it is. :)
help!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
lalalala
i am back at germville, USA. feeling really sick still...but my fever is finally gone. i should be working on homework right now, but, i just can't get myself to do it! please say a prayer i get caught up on all of my homework this week! i feel so nervous and stressed, i really don't like being behind!
random sidenote: i had corn souflee tonight! it is DELICOUS!!
random sidenote again: i have been so lonely in my apartment lately! i was honestly dreading coming back to my apartment from home. i miss the dorms.. (only a little) because there were always so many girls around to hang out with whenever you needed a break from homework. i miss that atmosphere. but i do not miss sharing a bathroom with sooo many people! sharing with one person is enough for me. :)
-------
so tonight i was reading through my Bible, and i was feeling a little unsure of what to read. nothing jumped out at me, and nothing really was sticking with me either. so finally i decided to pray and ask God to have me open to the verse I needed to read.
Well, i opened straight to a passage all about death! yikes! not sure what that was supposed to mean, hah - God has a strange sense of humor.
but then, i opened to a reflection page, (i was using my devotional Bible) and found something a woman wrote about being too busy for God. and how sometimes we are SO busy, that we don't have enough quiet time in our day to hear God speak to us. or maybe the quiet times we DO have with God we are filling up with our thoughts, our wants, our fears - which is good, obviously He wants to hear those. But, sometimes we just need to let HIM speak to US.
the last few sentences said, " The voice of God is always speaking to us, and always trying to get our attention. But His voice is a "still, small voice," and we must at least slow down in order to listen."
ah it's so funny, because, remember how i am crazy about St. Therese of Lisieux? her whole message is to LOVE, and also to appreciate the little voices out there - because the little voices have so much love to give, so much joy to spread, so much to offer the world. they are forgotten about though, because they are small & meek. But God completely chooses these specific people to work through the most!
who ever thought that God's voice would be still & small? it makes so much sense. i think i always picture it to be loud and booming. like a huge speaker projecting from the sky at me. but no! how silly of me. of course God would not be like that. God is gentle, and kind, not big and scary! and what He has to say is so valuable that we have to listen extra carefully to hear it. that's why He is so hard to hear sometimes. He is training us to hear His voice. His still, small voice.
"This is what the Sovereign Lord , the Holy One of Israel says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..."
-Isaiah 30:15
we can find God in all the quiet little moments of our day, because that is where He resides. that is when we can fill ourselves up with His love and strength. we are never too busy for Him! :)
it kind of takes on a whole new meaning to "be still and know that I AM" don't ya think?
random sidenote: i had corn souflee tonight! it is DELICOUS!!
random sidenote again: i have been so lonely in my apartment lately! i was honestly dreading coming back to my apartment from home. i miss the dorms.. (only a little) because there were always so many girls around to hang out with whenever you needed a break from homework. i miss that atmosphere. but i do not miss sharing a bathroom with sooo many people! sharing with one person is enough for me. :)
-------
so tonight i was reading through my Bible, and i was feeling a little unsure of what to read. nothing jumped out at me, and nothing really was sticking with me either. so finally i decided to pray and ask God to have me open to the verse I needed to read.
Well, i opened straight to a passage all about death! yikes! not sure what that was supposed to mean, hah - God has a strange sense of humor.
but then, i opened to a reflection page, (i was using my devotional Bible) and found something a woman wrote about being too busy for God. and how sometimes we are SO busy, that we don't have enough quiet time in our day to hear God speak to us. or maybe the quiet times we DO have with God we are filling up with our thoughts, our wants, our fears - which is good, obviously He wants to hear those. But, sometimes we just need to let HIM speak to US.
the last few sentences said, " The voice of God is always speaking to us, and always trying to get our attention. But His voice is a "still, small voice," and we must at least slow down in order to listen."
ah it's so funny, because, remember how i am crazy about St. Therese of Lisieux? her whole message is to LOVE, and also to appreciate the little voices out there - because the little voices have so much love to give, so much joy to spread, so much to offer the world. they are forgotten about though, because they are small & meek. But God completely chooses these specific people to work through the most!
who ever thought that God's voice would be still & small? it makes so much sense. i think i always picture it to be loud and booming. like a huge speaker projecting from the sky at me. but no! how silly of me. of course God would not be like that. God is gentle, and kind, not big and scary! and what He has to say is so valuable that we have to listen extra carefully to hear it. that's why He is so hard to hear sometimes. He is training us to hear His voice. His still, small voice.
"This is what the Sovereign Lord , the Holy One of Israel says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..."
-Isaiah 30:15
we can find God in all the quiet little moments of our day, because that is where He resides. that is when we can fill ourselves up with His love and strength. we are never too busy for Him! :)
it kind of takes on a whole new meaning to "be still and know that I AM" don't ya think?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
finally my temperature is below 100!
i think it's really funny.. i was thinking this morning, how when i was little i was totally that little kid who would do anything she could to stay home from school! i would love when i was sick, mainly because i could just stay home ally day long. literally...i would sit and hope so much for a day off school. i really did not hate school that much, i just really loved being home.
i would sit and take my temperature and load myself up with lots of layers so it was higher. or sometimes i would blow on it (because of course that would make my temp. higher?!), or i would force myself to cough a lot. missing school was like the ultimate prize in my book.
now, however...
i check my temperature frantically just HOPING it goes down. because missing one day of class is like missing a week! it's horrible. i've missed so much class this week because of this gosh darn (swine?)flu. not to mention i have missed out on a lot of sleep. i think one of the worst things about being sick for me, is not being around people! i really need to be around people - almost always. so being locked up in my apartment has been torture for me.
thank goodness i have discipleship this morning! i am so excited to leave my apartment. and i think i am going to try and go to my afternoon class. :) hopefully i don't over-do it. i'm also considering going home this afternoon...haha. i feel like if i don't i'll just hang out with people all weekend and run myself down too much. at least at home i know i'll rest and get caught up on work. hmmmm.
so it has rained almost every thursday since i have been at school. it's very strange.
okay, well, off to go rest. it's almost the weeeekend!!!!
i would sit and take my temperature and load myself up with lots of layers so it was higher. or sometimes i would blow on it (because of course that would make my temp. higher?!), or i would force myself to cough a lot. missing school was like the ultimate prize in my book.
now, however...
i check my temperature frantically just HOPING it goes down. because missing one day of class is like missing a week! it's horrible. i've missed so much class this week because of this gosh darn (swine?)flu. not to mention i have missed out on a lot of sleep. i think one of the worst things about being sick for me, is not being around people! i really need to be around people - almost always. so being locked up in my apartment has been torture for me.
thank goodness i have discipleship this morning! i am so excited to leave my apartment. and i think i am going to try and go to my afternoon class. :) hopefully i don't over-do it. i'm also considering going home this afternoon...haha. i feel like if i don't i'll just hang out with people all weekend and run myself down too much. at least at home i know i'll rest and get caught up on work. hmmmm.
so it has rained almost every thursday since i have been at school. it's very strange.
okay, well, off to go rest. it's almost the weeeekend!!!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
being sick is no fun!
i'm sick! i'm sick! i'm really, really sick.
this is the most sick i've been in a LONG time. this is the first time in a few hours i've even been able to sit up long enough to check my email and do some work so i don't fall too terribly behind in class.
our campus is germ central right now. they need to cancel classes, and disinfect. not even kidding! everyone is sick... we have everything from swine flu, to regular flu, to colds, to strep to a combo of all of them! not good!
i'm wondering why i had to get sick now?! i am at the busiest point in the semester!
i can't wait to eat food again.... :)
this is the most sick i've been in a LONG time. this is the first time in a few hours i've even been able to sit up long enough to check my email and do some work so i don't fall too terribly behind in class.
our campus is germ central right now. they need to cancel classes, and disinfect. not even kidding! everyone is sick... we have everything from swine flu, to regular flu, to colds, to strep to a combo of all of them! not good!
i'm wondering why i had to get sick now?! i am at the busiest point in the semester!
i can't wait to eat food again.... :)
Sunday, October 18, 2009
where to begin?
i feel like so much is going on in my brain right now, i feel like i've been talking so much lately. i just kind of want to sit for a little while, relax, and not think. don't you wish when we needed a break we could have an off button for our brain? i feel like it would come in handy!!
oof. so this weekend was just sogood. it was filled with a lot of prayer. a lot of wonderful conversations with fantastic people, shopping and good food! yet i don't feel very rested. but sometimes we need that i suppose.
tonight my friend from home and i were talking about good friends. and how hard it is to truly find people you can rely on. how many friends do you have in your life that you know you will stay friends with forever? as in you are 100% certain. you can call them at any hour of the night sobbing your eyes out like a crazy person, and they are right there with you. you can tell them your fears. your insecurities. you can vent. be ridiculous. & they bring out the best in you. or the ones you look at and think, "how the heck does she/he know EXACTLY what i am thinking right now?" how many of those do you have? and do you appreciate them? sometimes i think we take those the closest to us for granted, because we know they will always be there. but if anything we need to be EXTRA thankful for them. because they are the ones who God places in our lives to keep us sane, to keep us happy. :) good friends are like a good pair of socks... comfy, cozy, and even with a few holes -- they are still your favorite ones. ;) baha. that is the conclusion we came to.
---- on a completely different note
today is world missions day! go hug a missionary! no but seriously. do it. oof. so, i haven't really shared this - but i am discerning whether or not i want to be a missionary after i graduate college. i am feeling extremely called to it, but it makes me nervous...because i am always practical. i always choose the practical choice. but i'm feeling so called to be not practical for once. today our priest gave a homily about missionaries and i kid you not, i felt like the whole time he was just talking to me. i did not feel anyone else in the chapel with me. no one at all. it was just me, father, and Jesus. it was like my own personal message from God being like, "katie, if you don't get this you are really dumb..." haha. not that he'd call me dumb. ;) but it just felt SO obvious. so RIGHT. so.... sent straight to me. it was like God hit me in the head with a brick. ouch. it was as though in that moment i felt completely at peace. more at peace than i have ever felt. and it scares me. a lot. who knows though, i still have awhile to think about it - it is just something that has been on my heart lately.
i better go get back to my lesson plan writing. i hope you all had a wonderful weekend!!!
oof. so this weekend was just sogood. it was filled with a lot of prayer. a lot of wonderful conversations with fantastic people, shopping and good food! yet i don't feel very rested. but sometimes we need that i suppose.
tonight my friend from home and i were talking about good friends. and how hard it is to truly find people you can rely on. how many friends do you have in your life that you know you will stay friends with forever? as in you are 100% certain. you can call them at any hour of the night sobbing your eyes out like a crazy person, and they are right there with you. you can tell them your fears. your insecurities. you can vent. be ridiculous. & they bring out the best in you. or the ones you look at and think, "how the heck does she/he know EXACTLY what i am thinking right now?" how many of those do you have? and do you appreciate them? sometimes i think we take those the closest to us for granted, because we know they will always be there. but if anything we need to be EXTRA thankful for them. because they are the ones who God places in our lives to keep us sane, to keep us happy. :) good friends are like a good pair of socks... comfy, cozy, and even with a few holes -- they are still your favorite ones. ;) baha. that is the conclusion we came to.
---- on a completely different note
today is world missions day! go hug a missionary! no but seriously. do it. oof. so, i haven't really shared this - but i am discerning whether or not i want to be a missionary after i graduate college. i am feeling extremely called to it, but it makes me nervous...because i am always practical. i always choose the practical choice. but i'm feeling so called to be not practical for once. today our priest gave a homily about missionaries and i kid you not, i felt like the whole time he was just talking to me. i did not feel anyone else in the chapel with me. no one at all. it was just me, father, and Jesus. it was like my own personal message from God being like, "katie, if you don't get this you are really dumb..." haha. not that he'd call me dumb. ;) but it just felt SO obvious. so RIGHT. so.... sent straight to me. it was like God hit me in the head with a brick. ouch. it was as though in that moment i felt completely at peace. more at peace than i have ever felt. and it scares me. a lot. who knows though, i still have awhile to think about it - it is just something that has been on my heart lately.
i better go get back to my lesson plan writing. i hope you all had a wonderful weekend!!!
Friday, October 16, 2009
It's FRIDAY!
woohoooo!! Happy friday everyone!!
i can already feel how cold it is outside because it's freezing in our apartment..and we definitely have our heat on!
Yikes, so this week has been insane. good. bad. insane. i don't know even where i'd begin to describe it, so i don't think that i will. haha...we'll just bypass it and move on. :)
yesterday my classes were cancelled, and my observations were cancelled today! of course since i am ohso studious all of the time...i am working dilligently on homework for these two days!! (ahem, or not) actually... i haven't event ouched my books since wed. night. sometimes you just need a break from reality for a little while. i'll check myself back into it this afternoon maybe. maaaaybe.
so i am officially registered for FOCUS conference! i am sooo stinking excited! orlando, here we come! :)
so i told the priest at my newman center the other day, "i think st. therese of lisiuex is stalking me. in a really loving way. but stalking me." and would you like to know what he responded with?
"well katie, she probably is!!" hahaha. and that was that. she is stalking me. apparently it is because she is praying for me right now! :) which is pretty sweet if you ask me.
any fun weekend plans? i think i am going to the children's museum in town to make play-doh! i know. AMAZING! haha. i am pretty psyched. :)
well, i should really go shower....and start being productive! have a wonderful day!!
just to quote my favorite saint,
"Jesus is my guiding force. He teaches me to do everything through love, to refuse him nothing, and to be happy when he gives me the chance to prove my love for him."
-St. Therese of Lisiuex
--how beautiful is it to show Jesus we love Him, when we don't really feel like loving? when we feel like we're struggling? when we feel in pain? that's when we need to love Him even more. that's when we know we're on the right track. He is sending us the pain to strengthen us, to make us grow in LOVE. (and since God IS Love, we are in turn growing in HIM.)
i can already feel how cold it is outside because it's freezing in our apartment..and we definitely have our heat on!
Yikes, so this week has been insane. good. bad. insane. i don't know even where i'd begin to describe it, so i don't think that i will. haha...we'll just bypass it and move on. :)
yesterday my classes were cancelled, and my observations were cancelled today! of course since i am ohso studious all of the time...i am working dilligently on homework for these two days!! (ahem, or not) actually... i haven't event ouched my books since wed. night. sometimes you just need a break from reality for a little while. i'll check myself back into it this afternoon maybe. maaaaybe.
so i am officially registered for FOCUS conference! i am sooo stinking excited! orlando, here we come! :)
so i told the priest at my newman center the other day, "i think st. therese of lisiuex is stalking me. in a really loving way. but stalking me." and would you like to know what he responded with?
"well katie, she probably is!!" hahaha. and that was that. she is stalking me. apparently it is because she is praying for me right now! :) which is pretty sweet if you ask me.
any fun weekend plans? i think i am going to the children's museum in town to make play-doh! i know. AMAZING! haha. i am pretty psyched. :)
well, i should really go shower....and start being productive! have a wonderful day!!
just to quote my favorite saint,
"Jesus is my guiding force. He teaches me to do everything through love, to refuse him nothing, and to be happy when he gives me the chance to prove my love for him."
-St. Therese of Lisiuex
--how beautiful is it to show Jesus we love Him, when we don't really feel like loving? when we feel like we're struggling? when we feel in pain? that's when we need to love Him even more. that's when we know we're on the right track. He is sending us the pain to strengthen us, to make us grow in LOVE. (and since God IS Love, we are in turn growing in HIM.)
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Bible Study Blessings & Tutoring Terffic(ness) ?
helllloooo everyone!
how is everyone? holy.cow. i feel like i am at that point in the semester where it's 'go big or go home' so to speak. junior year is such a reality check....it really makes you analyze where you are and where you're going with your life.
today was a notsogreat day, filled with lots of little blessings that eventually turned it into a pretty great day --- i guess it's all just a matter of perspective. :)
let me just start by saying...first graders are really stinkin' cute.
my little girl that i tutor is just adorable! she makes all the work that goes into this class so worth it because it means seeing her happy. she definitely is the highlight of my monday and wednesday afternoons!
today she gave me a HUGE hug when she saw me. so cute. and then she preceded to tell me all the happenings in her life. (there were quite a few considering she is a 6 year old!)
this one had to be my favorite...
b: so miss katie, i get to hang out with my best friend today.
me: ohh! alexis?
b: no no, my other best friend. he's a BOY.
me: Oooooh. a boy?? well that's exciting isn't it?
b: he loves me.
me: wow! how do you know?? ;)
b: he gives me hugs when he sees me.
me: oh gosh! well, how do you feel about that?
b: i don't know, i don't love him. but i don't want to hurt his feelings.
me: that's very considerate of you.
b: i just don't want to worry about it!
me: i think you have some time...don't you worry.
haha. so cute!!!
then today i met up with one of the girls who is in my Bible Study, and she just made my day! she made me a BEAUTIFUL drawing of st. therese of lisieux. (my Bible Study has heard time and time again about my obsession with this wonderful saint.) i was so touched. it just turned my whole day around. here's a picture!!
so pretty right?! what a fanatastic gift. :) i can't wait to hang it in my room!!
.....aside from these wonderful, wonderful blessings. i feel like i can't fight this feeling of being SO stressed out and not knowing how to channel it! i just have so much work all the time. and i feel like my brain is in too many places at once right now. i'd like it to stop jumping around and sit still for a few days. or even a few hours....that'd be nice. :)
please, please say a prayer for me at...ohhh, around 2:00 tomorrow! i'm giving a HUGE presentation, and i don't feel too prepared. :( wish me luck!!
Hope you're having a wonderful evening! I just realized i missed Glee!! sad, sad day!
"Be still, and know that I AM."
how is everyone? holy.cow. i feel like i am at that point in the semester where it's 'go big or go home' so to speak. junior year is such a reality check....it really makes you analyze where you are and where you're going with your life.
today was a notsogreat day, filled with lots of little blessings that eventually turned it into a pretty great day --- i guess it's all just a matter of perspective. :)
let me just start by saying...first graders are really stinkin' cute.
my little girl that i tutor is just adorable! she makes all the work that goes into this class so worth it because it means seeing her happy. she definitely is the highlight of my monday and wednesday afternoons!
today she gave me a HUGE hug when she saw me. so cute. and then she preceded to tell me all the happenings in her life. (there were quite a few considering she is a 6 year old!)
this one had to be my favorite...
b: so miss katie, i get to hang out with my best friend today.
me: ohh! alexis?
b: no no, my other best friend. he's a BOY.
me: Oooooh. a boy?? well that's exciting isn't it?
b: he loves me.
me: wow! how do you know?? ;)
b: he gives me hugs when he sees me.
me: oh gosh! well, how do you feel about that?
b: i don't know, i don't love him. but i don't want to hurt his feelings.
me: that's very considerate of you.
b: i just don't want to worry about it!
me: i think you have some time...don't you worry.
haha. so cute!!!
then today i met up with one of the girls who is in my Bible Study, and she just made my day! she made me a BEAUTIFUL drawing of st. therese of lisieux. (my Bible Study has heard time and time again about my obsession with this wonderful saint.) i was so touched. it just turned my whole day around. here's a picture!!
so pretty right?! what a fanatastic gift. :) i can't wait to hang it in my room!!
.....aside from these wonderful, wonderful blessings. i feel like i can't fight this feeling of being SO stressed out and not knowing how to channel it! i just have so much work all the time. and i feel like my brain is in too many places at once right now. i'd like it to stop jumping around and sit still for a few days. or even a few hours....that'd be nice. :)
please, please say a prayer for me at...ohhh, around 2:00 tomorrow! i'm giving a HUGE presentation, and i don't feel too prepared. :( wish me luck!!
Hope you're having a wonderful evening! I just realized i missed Glee!! sad, sad day!
"Be still, and know that I AM."
Saturday, October 3, 2009
dentures?!
do you ever just get incredibly loopy, and find everything funny? or just wonder really random things, and literally ponder over them forever? when it's stuff that you really wouldn't bother thinking about any other time?
i feel like tonight is one of those nights. i think i can prove this by my most recent text to justine, (sorry justine)
"Do you think dentures come in different styles? or have various teeth sizes?"
whaaaaat????!!!
hahaha then i sat there thinking about it for like 15 minutes. genuinely wondering. (you have no idea how much i wish i was joking) DO they come in different styles? flat teeth? rounded teeth? large teeth? medium? small?! maybe some come with gaps? i don't know. i don't even really care. but still, i sat thinking about this forever.
i'm over my denture phase though. for now at least.
i just watched Sweet Home Alabama for the first time! Everyone told me i'd love it, and i just haven't had a chance to watch it. it was pretty cute though!! i'm really enjoying being home SO much. i don't want to go back to school just yet! i loved having a stress-free weekend. it was so refreshing. :) tomorrow i am helping with the carnival for my little ones with down syndrome! i can't wait! it should be a good day. a little chilly, but fun. i can't wait to see all my kids from the summer!! i've missed them a lot. my weeks aren't the same without their little smiling faces.
my dad and i made chili tonight for Bible Study on Monday...yum yum, i loooove chili! it took all i had not to eat it. :)
p.s. we're having a really awesome meeting about conference on monday apparently! im SO excited and SO curious to see what we're going to do! :)
wellllllllllllllllll, off to spend some time with the fam before bed. and doing a pre-check to make sure i have everything packed. tomorrow i'm going to check about ten more times. don't want a repeat of last weekend now do we? ;)
i feel like tonight is one of those nights. i think i can prove this by my most recent text to justine, (sorry justine)
"Do you think dentures come in different styles? or have various teeth sizes?"
whaaaaat????!!!
hahaha then i sat there thinking about it for like 15 minutes. genuinely wondering. (you have no idea how much i wish i was joking) DO they come in different styles? flat teeth? rounded teeth? large teeth? medium? small?! maybe some come with gaps? i don't know. i don't even really care. but still, i sat thinking about this forever.
i'm over my denture phase though. for now at least.
i just watched Sweet Home Alabama for the first time! Everyone told me i'd love it, and i just haven't had a chance to watch it. it was pretty cute though!! i'm really enjoying being home SO much. i don't want to go back to school just yet! i loved having a stress-free weekend. it was so refreshing. :) tomorrow i am helping with the carnival for my little ones with down syndrome! i can't wait! it should be a good day. a little chilly, but fun. i can't wait to see all my kids from the summer!! i've missed them a lot. my weeks aren't the same without their little smiling faces.
my dad and i made chili tonight for Bible Study on Monday...yum yum, i loooove chili! it took all i had not to eat it. :)
p.s. we're having a really awesome meeting about conference on monday apparently! im SO excited and SO curious to see what we're going to do! :)
wellllllllllllllllll, off to spend some time with the fam before bed. and doing a pre-check to make sure i have everything packed. tomorrow i'm going to check about ten more times. don't want a repeat of last weekend now do we? ;)
tehe :]
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