CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas everyone! May your days be blessed and your hearts be filled with love & joy as we celebrate the birth of our wonderful King! :)

i'm about to head to mass...wayyyy early, because i feel like it's going to be packed - and i really want to be in the actual church, not some auditorium. haha that doesn't exactly sound like fun to me. what's the point of being with Jesus if you have to watch him on a big screen, rather than up close and personal! :) i prefer up close & personal thank you very much. i really wanted to go to midnight mass, but as much as i want to... i KNOW i'm going to be way too tired. i'm like an old lady!

i hope that you all enjoy your day no matter what you are doing!

MERRRRRRY CHRISTMASSSSSSS!

so tired!

oooof! break is so tiring! hah! i just have so much i want to do, so many people i want to see...and just not enough time. it's a blessing really. however, i just want so badly to be able to see all the people i want to see and who want to see me.

which leads me to another realization i had. the Lord wants us to have peace in our lives, and yes we are supposed to love everyone, and be there for others - while being Christ to them at the same time. and i think at times i confuse that for 'i need to be there for everyone at every moment.' which gets VERY tiring. emotionally and physically. and let's be honest, it's just not possible, let alone healthy. i am learning to not spread myself too thin.

peace is not always easy to acquire in the busy day-to-day moments, but we have to look at our days, and see what we can place in them to give us joy. and to rejuvenate us. i'm learning it's okay to not always want to be with everyone all the time. that doesn't make me anti-social. it's just me learning to place God first and to do what will be most pleasing to Him. and sometimes what is pleasing to Him surprises me. i feel that yes of course He finds joy when i pray, and go to mass, etc. but He also finds joy when i take an hour or so out of my schedule to just relax in my pajamas while drinking hot chocolate. sounds silly, right? but if that's what will bring me the most joy & peace in that moment - it will in turn bring Him joy too.

i guess it's just something i've been thinking about because sometimes i have a hard time saying 'no' to fun plans, even though i'm tired and really would just enjoy an evening in. :) it's a good lesson to learn!

---- on another note

my friend and i went to the mall today and HOLY COW. it was so stinking packed. i couldn't handle it! i was completely overwhelmed, and knocked over a couple of times i think. so we quickly bought what we needed to and peaced out haha. the mall is notttt a very relaxing place during the holidays!

Also, my favorite day of the whoooooooole year is THURSDAYYYYYYYYYYY! WOOHOO!! any fun Christmas plans?!

Good news!

it's winter break, i raised the money for Conference almost completely (God is SOO good and people are so stinking giving, it touches my heart in so many ways), i've met some new, amazing, God-loving girls to pray with, and i just got back from mass with my disciple...and am now sitting, watching tv & eating puppy chow with my dog. :)

Does anyone know anywhere i can get a cute, business casual dress...for not too expensive? or perhaps even a cute skirt?

yes i know this is a short post. but really i just have nothing else to say right now! i'm so tired! i think i got about 4 hours of sleep last night...i'm having such a difficult time sleeping lately. :(

It's ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

Finals are OVER!

oh my gosh! i am freeee from first semester junior year! today i had my last final, and i feel pretty great. except now it is somewhat of a nasty night, so i have locked myself in my apartment for the evening! today as i was walking to my final -- the wind knocked me over.

and i'm talking completely - wiped out - knocked me over. it was really humiliating to say the least! and then i went to my car and my doors were frozen shut. hahaha thank goodness our "mr. fix-it" at newman, came to help me yank my car doors open!! man oh man. God was totally telling me to stay inside tonight. haha so that is exactly what i did.

speaking of God...He is so funny, and so good. so you all have heard me mention FOCUS conference quite a bit, right?! well, i am having a really hard time coming up with the money to go. I registered, even though i couldn't afford it because you don't understand how much i LOVE conference. and for that matter how much i LOVE FOCUS. it's like my heart has been pre-made to love God, my family(+ chip), my friends, & FOCUS. haha, sounds sort of intense, but it's completely true. so i thought, i would figure out a way no matter what. well...now conference is a little less than a month away - and i haven't exactly figured out a way yet.

i've been getting somewhat discouraged...because i don't like asking people for money. it's just not in me to really ask for much of anything. but, lately random bits of money have been making their way to me. a ten here and there. a twenty. so on, and so forth. granted i still have a lott of money to raise for conference. but it's just very encouraging. God is showing me that He is finding a way for me to get there...little, by little and through the enormous generosity of people i know and people i don't know. the other day i found a twenty in my purse with a note that said, "use this for conference. love, kris kringle" like seriously?! people are so beautiful. they are so willing to give, and so willing to help. and i appreciate it way more than i could ever express. especially since i do not know who gave that to me. now i would be lying if i said i'm not a little nervous about raising the rest. -- but i'm trying SO hard to trust. haha...easier said than done. it's something i really struggle with. but i'm trying. really, really hard.

i'd just really like to stop worrying about this, any ideas for raising.... umm, about $350.00 by december 29th? ;) i'm open for any and all suggestions!!! i should have thought harder about this way sooner. it's totally OKAY to ask for help. i need to remember that every now and then. :)

The joys of finals week..

since it is finals week...i have come to a few conclusions.

1) i can eat whatever i want and not feel disgusting. for instance: fudge covered oreos + chocolate covered donuts? definitely a good side dish to my dinner of (orange roughy, texas toast, & corn).

2) naps are a must! i can nap as long as i want whenever i want. so if i decided to go take a quick cat nap right now at 6:15 in the evening, that would be okay.

3) i am allowed to complain and to feel sorry for myself for this week!!

4) sitting in the chapel and laughing hysterically from feeling delirious is totally acceptable. God will understand.

5) random dance parties should probably happen every 23 minutes. yes, 23.

6) seeing the people that keep me sane as much as possible is okay, even if i have work to do. if i'm not sane i can't study...and if i can't study i can't pass junior year.

7) tea is my new best friend!

8) showering is not absolutely necessary.

9) taking time to do fun, random & ridiculous things should be a regular occurrence. :)

10) basically anything goes this week. because it is finals week of junior year. and therefore, we are allowed to do whatever we want. whenever we want.

off to go eat more donuts! :)

soo i am finally going to blog.

i am such a slacker with this poor blog of mine! i barely take time anymore to write, and i really do enjoy writing- and reading others blogs...but i just haven't been able to get myself to do it lately.

to be honest, i haven't been able to get myself to do much of anything lately. this week i've just been feeling like i had nothing left to give...i was a car running on empty. there was just nothing there. i felt void in everything i was doing- like i was lacking the extra oomph to make my responsibilities really count. i realized i wasn't doing anything in love. i was just doing.

so then after a semi-freak out in prayer the other night, i realized it's okay to be empty. in prayer i kept feeling so alone, so empty. and so i kept asking mary, "where are you??" and the instant i let myself be, i saw her. i knew she was telling me that she was there. and that was all i needed. then i kept thinking about the nativity, and all of the shepards who came to see the birth of Jesus. my discipler explained to me that i probably was thinking about the shepards because i was like the shepard that day. i had nothing to give, nothing to bring, yet i still came to prayer, i still came to see Jesus. Jesus wants us even when we have nothing - he wants us to bring out nothingness. how beautiful is that? how blessed are we? our Father is SO good. He loves us so much.

then yesterday i had a wonderfully-prayer filled day. it's so funny, because last year at this time -- praying for an hour once or twice a week was difficult for me. holy cow did it seem like a long time to sit in the chapel! and yesterday has just shown me how much i love to pray now. i make it a point to go to the chapel everyday - and because i want to. that is such a strange feeling for me. a strange feeling that i think i could get used to. :)

well, anyways, yesterday i was able to pray. a LOT. it was so wonderful. i was even able to go to a religious community not too far from here and pray with some very holy brothers/monks/priests! it was such an incredible experience. the chapel we were in was so simple, and empty-ish, yet humbling. because it brought me back to the realization that we don't need all of the extra stuff. Jesus is the main attraction there, so we should be content. (Mary was there too of course!) but i could have sat in that chapel for hours. i love it. adored it.

& after i got home, i was sure that i would be far too tired, far too distracted to study. but no! my focus was better than ever. it was as though suddenly 4 extra hours had been added to my day. i got all of my work done, and even had time for some amazing phone conversations with my friends. it's really true that when you spend time with God, he multiples that time abundantly. :)

it was just the filling up i needed, and now i am able to give again.

After all,
"It is better to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

but, when it comes down to it - we all need to realize when we are running on empty and need to receive. because if we don't allow ourselves to receive -- we simply have nothing to give. :)

Happy Friday everyone. :)

oh school, i did not miss you.

i am feeling soooo unmotivated right now, to do much of anything actually. the only motivation i feel is to climb into my nice, comfy bed and curl up for a nap. although, i know if i do this i will never sleep tonight. and i also know that i should be studying right now, and editing papers, and prepping for projects.... but alas, here i am. blogging.

i've started to develop a little obsession with a fabulous place called Medjugorje. :) my heart has felt completely drawn to it ever since this summer, but lately i'm falling more and more in love with it.

http://www.medjugorje.org/

i don't even know how to begin to explain this beautiful place, so if you want more info go to their website :) here are some pictures from there!



it is such a powerful place from what i've heard, and i am definitely going to find a way to get there if it is up to me! :)

so funny story...

last night my friend jen and i decided to go to olive garden for dinner! i was pretty excited (i always am when i don't have to cook, i love cooking but sometimes i am just so lazy!) so we get there and i decide to get my favorite, fettuccine alfredo. literally probably 5 or 10 minutes after we started eating our waiter came over and started packing up our food in to go boxes!

he asked if i was done (which i obviously wasn't) i replied (jokingly) with, "well...i guess i can eat out of the box.." i don't know if he took me seriously or was ignoring the hint of sarcasm in my voice because he packed up my pasta without even thinking twice! then he brought the check and said, "dont feel like you need to rush!" ummm right, after you already packed up our food. sure mister waiter. we won't rush.

it was so awkward! i'm sure he wouldn't have done that to us if we were our parent's age. boo. it was aggravating. oh well, it made for a great lunch today!!

oof, seriously, please pray i findthe motivation to get some work done. :) i should go at least pretend i'm studying. toodles!

oh how i love break!

it feels so good to be home! i can't even tell you how much i'm appreciating the little things like my bed, home cooking, baking with my parents, car rides to anywhere, and any form of procrastinating my work that i can find -- and let me tell you i've found a lot!!

tomorrow though. tomorrow is the day that i make myself do homework. heh... this better really happen.

so this weekend and today were good! friday i just relaxed at home with the fam. saturday i babysat my dog while these guys came to replace our furnace, then did a little shopping, mass, and reunited with some friends from home. we basically sat and talked all night long! it was great. then sunday i woke up early and went shopping once again with my mom - it's a little tradition of ours, waking up early and shopping together! then i came home, took a nap, and went galavanting around our town with my friends. we started off the evening with a gab-fest like usual, then went driving around taking pictures with christmas lights and drinking starbucks! then tooooday. i went to the dr -- blech! but it actually wasn't as horrible as i thought it would be. my mom had to go too. after we went to the dr., we stopped in the little chapel that was at the hospital and guess who i saw! st. therese of lisieux ;) in statue form obviously, but still pretty exciting.

after we left the beautiful little chapel my mom said one of the nicest compliments i've received in awhile.

mom: kate, it's amazing how much you have grown in your faith.
me: what do you mean?
mom: you just have this absolute peace about you that is so refreshing, it makes me so happy to see.

ah, i truly feel that peace lately more than i ever have-- even through the bumps in the road, so i am extremely happy that God is allowing me to radiate it as well! what a gift. i hope it sticks around for awhile. ;)

after that we grabbed lunch, i took another nap (bahaha did i mention i love being home??) then did a litttttle homework. then my fam and i watched dancing with the stars! i'm so tired so i think i'm heading to bed early tonight. i have these great new christmas books to read!

i love christmas! but i love thanksgiving, too. i'm so thankful to be home and to be enjoying my time with my family. my dad and i are going to try to cook some corn souflee this year. i'm sort of in love with it lately.

my brother comes home wednesday! i haven't seen him since august, holy cow!! he better be excited to see his fave (only) little sister. speaking of wednesday, my mom and i are having a "mother-daughter day" not sure what we're doing yet but i am excited!...i'm assuming shopping & food will be the main factors of the day.

did i mention i have the cutest dog in the world??

and did i mention i looooove being home??

;)

I AM HOME!

it's thanksgiving break! praise the lord that i survived till now. hahaha, sounds dramatic, but i've just been so overwhelmed with work! i still have a ton to do over break...but, the fact that i'm home for a week makes up for it.

i want to update, but, i'm just too lazy to be very creative right now -- so here's a little survey i stole from katie over at Loves of Life

1. What is your current obsession?
mmm.. let's see.. pearls! i've always loved them, but recently i've taken that love to a new extreme. also donuts. yes, donuts. oh and any fun scarf! :)

2. What are you wearing today?
a grey tank top and a light pink sweatshirt, skinny jeans and black boots.

3. What's for dinner?
well, i was absolutely craving wendy's! so i had that. a burger, chicken nuggets, and a baked potato. :)

4. What's the last thing you bought?
well, dinner. but... aside from that a smoothie yesterday!

5. What are you listening to right now?
my parents talk, and the tv...sort of.

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
well, i didn't get tagged. i stole it. haha - but! i just love reading katie's blog! - she has great stories about teaching, her little bundle of joy that's on the way, and just life in general!

7. If i could have a house, totally paid for, fully furnished, anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
i definitely think in the south - like north carolina, tennessee or georgia. i've always had a desire to live there. :)

8. what are your must-have pieces for the summer?
flip flops and skirts! :)

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you like to go?
i'm content just where i am!

10. Which language do you want to learn?
gee, i don't know... i'd love to be fluent in every language. i know a little of sign language though and would like to know more.

11. What's your favorite quote?
i love every quote. i'm a huge quote fan. but... i think one of my faves lately is:
"I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle, but sometimes I wish He didn't trust me so much."
-Mother Theresa

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
ummmmmmmm, i don't know actually.

13. What is your favorite color?
pink!

14. What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?
this lace shirt i have - it makes me feel like a bride! ;)

15. What is your dream job?
being a FOCUS missionary. :)

16. What's your favorite magazine?
mehh i don't read magazines much anymore.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
i would put it towards conference!

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
mehh.. people are entitled to their own fashion choices, but, anything completely in-modest is a big frown in my book!

19.Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
errr i honestly don't have the slightest idea.

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
well, since i have curly hair - long hair! but if i had straight hair i think i'd want a cute little cut. not sure. :)

21. What are you going to do after this?
maybe get together with some friends! or bake cookies. or both?

22. What are your favorite movies?
I have sooooooooo many.

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without?
hmm, mascara, blush, eye-shadow?? idkkk.

24. What inspires you?
my faith. my family. my friends. :)

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you?
haha i really don't know. you can pull off any style if you love the person working the style! baha so cheesy, but so true.

26. What do you do when you have nothing to wear? (even though your closet is packed)
try-on tons of outfits till i create something new!

27. Coffee or tea?
i'm not a huge fan of either! hot chocolate all the way!

28. What do you do when you are feeling terribly low or depressed?
pray. go shopping. talk to my friends. cry. eat.

29. What is the meaning of your name?
Kathryn means pure one

30. Which other blogs do you enjoy visiting?
hmm, i'm bad about reading too many blogs - but basically any that i can relate to!

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
hahahaha try EVERYTHING. i have such a sweet tooth. but probably cookies. :)

32. Favorite season?
mm, i love them all, lately i've been loving Fall. but there is something special about each season!

33. If i come to your house now, what would you cook for me?
uhhh, haha, as long as i have a recipe i could probable manage...but i'd prefer to bake for you. :) maybe i'd make fish.

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
love them. it's all we can do. maybe they need the love more than we realize. and if it is really hurting us, confront the person and talk it out.

35. How do you calm yourself down when you are agitated or angry?
definitely talking to my friends! they are so good at listening to me. :) i give them credit for putting up with me sometimes. haha

36. Who is the modern ideal girl: the one who knows how to shop, dress, and enjoy, or the one who is simple but manages the house, kids, and herself well?
i think the modern ideal girl is everything now adays. shes all of this and more. :)

alright, well that's all for now! i'll write again soon.

Blog Award!

Thank you so much to Emily over at show me Your way for this Blog Award!!! I just love getting these and really do appreciate them! :)



The directions are to post the award on your site, write 10 interesting things about yourself, and then pass it on to 10 other bloggers.

my ten things are:

1. I am extremely punctual. To the point where I am too punctual and am the awkward person sitting in the car because I'm a half hour early. It really bothers be when people are late, or when they cause me to be late for something. The other day I had to meet my friend at 2 for something... and i ended up leaving my apartment at 1:45 -- we were meeting 2 min away.

2. I absolutely adore my dog! He's part of my family (who i also adore!) I don't know what I would do without my little furball. He brings so much love into my life!!! Not only this but i love ALL dogs. I am a softy for every single one I see! :)

3. I am probably one of the most sensitive people you will ever meet. Everything effects me in some way. I am one of those people that feels emotions with all I have in me. This can be a downfall sometimes... I can be verrrry emotional! ;)

4. Audrey Hepburn is one of my favorites! I love her movies, her quotes, her style -- she is simply fabulous.

5. I'm a tad obsessed with weddings. I dream about the day when I'll finally get to plan my own, but for now I am content helping my friends plan theirs! I get so so SO excited for every little detail.

6. I set my alarm clock for strange times. 7:04, 4:47, etc. I feel like I am getting extra sleep that way.

7. Throughout the course of my day, I tend to change my clothes a lot. I get bored easily and like to change it up! People probably think I have a twin wandering around because when they see me multiple times in a day - it's always in a new outfit.

8. I am falling more in love with my faith and with our God every single day. I can always count on Him to challenge me, to love me, and to show me my way when I am lost.

9. Sarcasm is something I have a hard time understanding. Usually when people are sarcastic, I genuinely don't understand - and think they are being mean. :) Unless I know someone really well and understand their use of sarcasm... I don't suggest using it with me!

10. Cookies & hot chocolate can make my whole day better! I just love them. If I could I would have an endless supply at my fingertips all of the time.

I nominate...everyone reading this! Go ahead and do it. :)

"The Words I Would Say"

Best. Song. Ever.

Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got his hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Now the last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got his hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got his hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say
~The Words I Would Say (Sidewalk Prophets)


Seriously...youtube it right now! ready set go! i'll write a real update tomorrow sometime :)

Gifts. :)

last spring, one of my very good friends asked me, "katie...what do you think your gifts are?"

this question has made me think a lot ever since she asked me it last year. God gives EACH OF US, so many gifts. and it is up to us to acknowledge His gifts. when you give a gift to a friend, you want them to use it. right? you do not want it to just go to waste. that's how God feels about the gifts He give us. :)

So i remembered how i answered that question... "oh you know... i don't really know."

which makes me sad. i SHOULD know what my gifts are. it's not being prideful or bragging. it's just acknowledging what God gave me. what God gave YOU. :)

so. i think tonight, i am going to write about my gifts. please don't take this is a "YAY ME!" moment. just a me..being thankful moment.

Some of my gifts are:

I am kind to everyone - no matter who you are, I will see the good in you and be kind to you.
God blessed me with a HUGE heart. Sometimes I wonder if it is too big, because I worry so much about everyone, and care with all my heart's capacity and then some.
I am a good listener. I like to listen. people seem to come to me with a lot, and sometimes it is hard...but i really value that. i value what people have to say and do not like to break people's trust.
I know what it means to be a true friend. i feel like i have known this from a very young age.
I am very bubbly and friendly. Some may consider the 'perkiness' a bit much sometimes, but it's just who i am.
I have compassion and understanding.
i love to love.

what are your gifts? i'm challenging each of you to sit down and write a list of a few of the wonderful gifts God has blessed you with. we were all given some...so go ahead and figure out what yours are! :) here's the hard part though, once you figure them out -- start using them! after all, God wouldn't want us to waste them, right?! right!

Night everyone!

7 am?! Really?!

oh. my. gosh.

So, last night i was spending some time with my friends...i can't lie i feel a lot older than i am because i really enjoy going to bed early. however, last night i knew that i could sleep in this morning -- so i figured i'd take advantage of that and stay up late! :) keep in mind, this is my only day to sleep in during the week. so i value saturday mornings a LOT.

well, apparently my neighbors had something else in mind because they have definitely been blasting rock band for the past few days. so of course that is what i woke up to (scratch that, what woke me up) this lovely, saturday morning. but seriously... at 7 am?! they were(and still are) blasting it extremely loud.

goodbye morning of sleep. however, i have already taken my shower- and begun to get ready - so maybe it will be a productive day?? the sun is shining! it's going to be the warmest day we've had in awhile... i'd say there is potential!

last night my friends and i played this ridiculous game called: marry, date or dump? -- you pick a card with the names of 3 guys (for the guys there are girl's names) and you pick which one you would marry, date and dump. then the group tries to guess who you'd pick.

the first card i got said, "the beast, aladdin, & the hunchback"

Sooo. seeing as i have an obsession with the beauty and the beast, i naturally chose to marry the beast! (he turned into a sweetie at the end!), i chose to date aladdin (he can sing me beautiful songs, we can go for rides through the sky on his magic carpet, and he wears sweet pants), and i chose to dump the hunchback (only because i've never seen the movie, i have nothing against his hunched back like my friends accused me of!)

it was pretty funny...especially seeing the guys' choices.

Ohh.. also,
yesterday i had to go perform an assessment on a student i've been working with about 40 min from here. well, i had to pull her out of gym class to perform this test. in my head i was thinking, 'she is either going to love me for this, or hate me for this.' i personally would have jumped at the chance to skip gym when i when i was little... but for some it's the highlight of their week!

i found out very quickly how she felt.

m=her, k=me

m: I WAS IN GYM CLASS!!!!!
k: oh! so you must be excited then to leave so we can hang out!
m: well, NOT TODAAAAY. It's push-up day!!!!!!!!!!!
k: push-ups? and you like those?
m: they are my FAVORITE. *said with absolute frustration*
k: well... when we finish our test, we can do push-ups if you would like.
m: in the library?
k: why not?!
m: okay.

hahaha. she forgot about the push-ups. thank goodness! i can't even do one! it's more of a push-DOWN for me. seeing as i can never get back up. plus idk if her teacher would have appreciated us working out in the library...

well, i am off to finish getting ready... Hope y'all have a fantastic weekend! :)

thank you!

thank you ladies for all the encouraging words and WONDERFUL ideas. you all are so sweet. :) i am feeling a little better! but i still feel a little down, it will get better though -- i am sure of it.

so halloween was this weekend! did everyone have a good time?! mine was pretty good. friday night my church had a hoe-down -- complete with a square dance caller! it was a lot of fun. square dancing is HILARIOUS. and line dancing is a blast. i seriously want to do it again...pronto! i was going to be belle for halloween, but at the last minute i decided to dress up as a 50s girl! it made me realize how much i'd LOVE to live in the 50s! they had such fun outfits. plus, everything was just sweet and innocent back then; people just had genuine fun. i think we could use a little bit of that (a lot of that) in today's world.

saturday was pretty fun too. i spent some time in the chapel which was good. then i went to my friend's halloween party. i didn't dress up this time. i just felt like being me! :)

then yesterday was ALL SAINTS DAY! pretty much a fantastic day in my book.

guess what! my tuesday and thursday classes got cancelled for this week...a much needed break! too bad i don't really have time to enjoy it. i have so much work! although i'm not gonna lie - today was a beautiful fall day spent in prayer, pointless driving(we all could use that once in awhile, right?), a little bit of homework, a walk & hot chocolate with a good friend! pretty much a great day.

now onto that homework... maybe. :)

the other day i learned that my little first grader i tutor is "testing my authority." i need to learn to be more authoritative before i actually have my own classroom. that is definitely going to be my downfall as a teacher! sheesh!!

Hope everyone's week is off to a great start!
*edit*
yes justine is right..SUNDAY was all saints day. i keep thinking today is monday hahaha. thanks justine! :)

how to get out of a rut?

i feel like i am just stuck in a rut lately. i'm so grumpy! and i feel very......distant. from everything. i wish i knew how to explain it.

any suggestions on how to get out of a rut? haha.

i don't feel good still, maybe that's what it is. :)

help!

lalalala

i am back at germville, USA. feeling really sick still...but my fever is finally gone. i should be working on homework right now, but, i just can't get myself to do it! please say a prayer i get caught up on all of my homework this week! i feel so nervous and stressed, i really don't like being behind!

random sidenote: i had corn souflee tonight! it is DELICOUS!!

random sidenote again: i have been so lonely in my apartment lately! i was honestly dreading coming back to my apartment from home. i miss the dorms.. (only a little) because there were always so many girls around to hang out with whenever you needed a break from homework. i miss that atmosphere. but i do not miss sharing a bathroom with sooo many people! sharing with one person is enough for me. :)
-------

so tonight i was reading through my Bible, and i was feeling a little unsure of what to read. nothing jumped out at me, and nothing really was sticking with me either. so finally i decided to pray and ask God to have me open to the verse I needed to read.

Well, i opened straight to a passage all about death! yikes! not sure what that was supposed to mean, hah - God has a strange sense of humor.

but then, i opened to a reflection page, (i was using my devotional Bible) and found something a woman wrote about being too busy for God. and how sometimes we are SO busy, that we don't have enough quiet time in our day to hear God speak to us. or maybe the quiet times we DO have with God we are filling up with our thoughts, our wants, our fears - which is good, obviously He wants to hear those. But, sometimes we just need to let HIM speak to US.

the last few sentences said, " The voice of God is always speaking to us, and always trying to get our attention. But His voice is a "still, small voice," and we must at least slow down in order to listen."

ah it's so funny, because, remember how i am crazy about St. Therese of Lisieux? her whole message is to LOVE, and also to appreciate the little voices out there - because the little voices have so much love to give, so much joy to spread, so much to offer the world. they are forgotten about though, because they are small & meek. But God completely chooses these specific people to work through the most!

who ever thought that God's voice would be still & small? it makes so much sense. i think i always picture it to be loud and booming. like a huge speaker projecting from the sky at me. but no! how silly of me. of course God would not be like that. God is gentle, and kind, not big and scary! and what He has to say is so valuable that we have to listen extra carefully to hear it. that's why He is so hard to hear sometimes. He is training us to hear His voice. His still, small voice.

"This is what the Sovereign Lord , the Holy One of Israel says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..."
-Isaiah 30:15

we can find God in all the quiet little moments of our day, because that is where He resides. that is when we can fill ourselves up with His love and strength. we are never too busy for Him! :)

it kind of takes on a whole new meaning to "be still and know that I AM" don't ya think?

finally my temperature is below 100!

i think it's really funny.. i was thinking this morning, how when i was little i was totally that little kid who would do anything she could to stay home from school! i would love when i was sick, mainly because i could just stay home ally day long. literally...i would sit and hope so much for a day off school. i really did not hate school that much, i just really loved being home.

i would sit and take my temperature and load myself up with lots of layers so it was higher. or sometimes i would blow on it (because of course that would make my temp. higher?!), or i would force myself to cough a lot. missing school was like the ultimate prize in my book.

now, however...

i check my temperature frantically just HOPING it goes down. because missing one day of class is like missing a week! it's horrible. i've missed so much class this week because of this gosh darn (swine?)flu. not to mention i have missed out on a lot of sleep. i think one of the worst things about being sick for me, is not being around people! i really need to be around people - almost always. so being locked up in my apartment has been torture for me.

thank goodness i have discipleship this morning! i am so excited to leave my apartment. and i think i am going to try and go to my afternoon class. :) hopefully i don't over-do it. i'm also considering going home this afternoon...haha. i feel like if i don't i'll just hang out with people all weekend and run myself down too much. at least at home i know i'll rest and get caught up on work. hmmmm.

so it has rained almost every thursday since i have been at school. it's very strange.

okay, well, off to go rest. it's almost the weeeekend!!!!

being sick is no fun!

i'm sick! i'm sick! i'm really, really sick.

this is the most sick i've been in a LONG time. this is the first time in a few hours i've even been able to sit up long enough to check my email and do some work so i don't fall too terribly behind in class.

our campus is germ central right now. they need to cancel classes, and disinfect. not even kidding! everyone is sick... we have everything from swine flu, to regular flu, to colds, to strep to a combo of all of them! not good!

i'm wondering why i had to get sick now?! i am at the busiest point in the semester!

i can't wait to eat food again.... :)

where to begin?

i feel like so much is going on in my brain right now, i feel like i've been talking so much lately. i just kind of want to sit for a little while, relax, and not think. don't you wish when we needed a break we could have an off button for our brain? i feel like it would come in handy!!

oof. so this weekend was just sogood. it was filled with a lot of prayer. a lot of wonderful conversations with fantastic people, shopping and good food! yet i don't feel very rested. but sometimes we need that i suppose.

tonight my friend from home and i were talking about good friends. and how hard it is to truly find people you can rely on. how many friends do you have in your life that you know you will stay friends with forever? as in you are 100% certain. you can call them at any hour of the night sobbing your eyes out like a crazy person, and they are right there with you. you can tell them your fears. your insecurities. you can vent. be ridiculous. & they bring out the best in you. or the ones you look at and think, "how the heck does she/he know EXACTLY what i am thinking right now?" how many of those do you have? and do you appreciate them? sometimes i think we take those the closest to us for granted, because we know they will always be there. but if anything we need to be EXTRA thankful for them. because they are the ones who God places in our lives to keep us sane, to keep us happy. :) good friends are like a good pair of socks... comfy, cozy, and even with a few holes -- they are still your favorite ones. ;) baha. that is the conclusion we came to.

---- on a completely different note

today is world missions day! go hug a missionary! no but seriously. do it. oof. so, i haven't really shared this - but i am discerning whether or not i want to be a missionary after i graduate college. i am feeling extremely called to it, but it makes me nervous...because i am always practical. i always choose the practical choice. but i'm feeling so called to be not practical for once. today our priest gave a homily about missionaries and i kid you not, i felt like the whole time he was just talking to me. i did not feel anyone else in the chapel with me. no one at all. it was just me, father, and Jesus. it was like my own personal message from God being like, "katie, if you don't get this you are really dumb..." haha. not that he'd call me dumb. ;) but it just felt SO obvious. so RIGHT. so.... sent straight to me. it was like God hit me in the head with a brick. ouch. it was as though in that moment i felt completely at peace. more at peace than i have ever felt. and it scares me. a lot. who knows though, i still have awhile to think about it - it is just something that has been on my heart lately.

i better go get back to my lesson plan writing. i hope you all had a wonderful weekend!!!

It's FRIDAY!

woohoooo!! Happy friday everyone!!

i can already feel how cold it is outside because it's freezing in our apartment..and we definitely have our heat on!

Yikes, so this week has been insane. good. bad. insane. i don't know even where i'd begin to describe it, so i don't think that i will. haha...we'll just bypass it and move on. :)

yesterday my classes were cancelled, and my observations were cancelled today! of course since i am ohso studious all of the time...i am working dilligently on homework for these two days!! (ahem, or not) actually... i haven't event ouched my books since wed. night. sometimes you just need a break from reality for a little while. i'll check myself back into it this afternoon maybe. maaaaybe.

so i am officially registered for FOCUS conference! i am sooo stinking excited! orlando, here we come! :)

so i told the priest at my newman center the other day, "i think st. therese of lisiuex is stalking me. in a really loving way. but stalking me." and would you like to know what he responded with?

"well katie, she probably is!!" hahaha. and that was that. she is stalking me. apparently it is because she is praying for me right now! :) which is pretty sweet if you ask me.

any fun weekend plans? i think i am going to the children's museum in town to make play-doh! i know. AMAZING! haha. i am pretty psyched. :)

well, i should really go shower....and start being productive! have a wonderful day!!

just to quote my favorite saint,

"Jesus is my guiding force. He teaches me to do everything through love, to refuse him nothing, and to be happy when he gives me the chance to prove my love for him."
-St. Therese of Lisiuex

--how beautiful is it to show Jesus we love Him, when we don't really feel like loving? when we feel like we're struggling? when we feel in pain? that's when we need to love Him even more. that's when we know we're on the right track. He is sending us the pain to strengthen us, to make us grow in LOVE. (and since God IS Love, we are in turn growing in HIM.)

Bible Study Blessings & Tutoring Terffic(ness) ?

helllloooo everyone!

how is everyone? holy.cow. i feel like i am at that point in the semester where it's 'go big or go home' so to speak. junior year is such a reality check....it really makes you analyze where you are and where you're going with your life.

today was a notsogreat day, filled with lots of little blessings that eventually turned it into a pretty great day --- i guess it's all just a matter of perspective. :)

let me just start by saying...first graders are really stinkin' cute.

my little girl that i tutor is just adorable! she makes all the work that goes into this class so worth it because it means seeing her happy. she definitely is the highlight of my monday and wednesday afternoons!

today she gave me a HUGE hug when she saw me. so cute. and then she preceded to tell me all the happenings in her life. (there were quite a few considering she is a 6 year old!)

this one had to be my favorite...

b: so miss katie, i get to hang out with my best friend today.
me: ohh! alexis?
b: no no, my other best friend. he's a BOY.
me: Oooooh. a boy?? well that's exciting isn't it?
b: he loves me.
me: wow! how do you know?? ;)
b: he gives me hugs when he sees me.
me: oh gosh! well, how do you feel about that?
b: i don't know, i don't love him. but i don't want to hurt his feelings.
me: that's very considerate of you.
b: i just don't want to worry about it!
me: i think you have some time...don't you worry.

haha. so cute!!!

then today i met up with one of the girls who is in my Bible Study, and she just made my day! she made me a BEAUTIFUL drawing of st. therese of lisieux. (my Bible Study has heard time and time again about my obsession with this wonderful saint.) i was so touched. it just turned my whole day around. here's a picture!!


so pretty right?! what a fanatastic gift. :) i can't wait to hang it in my room!!

.....aside from these wonderful, wonderful blessings. i feel like i can't fight this feeling of being SO stressed out and not knowing how to channel it! i just have so much work all the time. and i feel like my brain is in too many places at once right now. i'd like it to stop jumping around and sit still for a few days. or even a few hours....that'd be nice. :)

please, please say a prayer for me at...ohhh, around 2:00 tomorrow! i'm giving a HUGE presentation, and i don't feel too prepared. :( wish me luck!!

Hope you're having a wonderful evening! I just realized i missed Glee!! sad, sad day!


"Be still, and know that I AM."

dentures?!

do you ever just get incredibly loopy, and find everything funny? or just wonder really random things, and literally ponder over them forever? when it's stuff that you really wouldn't bother thinking about any other time?

i feel like tonight is one of those nights. i think i can prove this by my most recent text to justine, (sorry justine)

"Do you think dentures come in different styles? or have various teeth sizes?"

whaaaaat????!!!

hahaha then i sat there thinking about it for like 15 minutes. genuinely wondering. (you have no idea how much i wish i was joking) DO they come in different styles? flat teeth? rounded teeth? large teeth? medium? small?! maybe some come with gaps? i don't know. i don't even really care. but still, i sat thinking about this forever.

i'm over my denture phase though. for now at least.

i just watched Sweet Home Alabama for the first time! Everyone told me i'd love it, and i just haven't had a chance to watch it. it was pretty cute though!! i'm really enjoying being home SO much. i don't want to go back to school just yet! i loved having a stress-free weekend. it was so refreshing. :) tomorrow i am helping with the carnival for my little ones with down syndrome! i can't wait! it should be a good day. a little chilly, but fun. i can't wait to see all my kids from the summer!! i've missed them a lot. my weeks aren't the same without their little smiling faces.

my dad and i made chili tonight for Bible Study on Monday...yum yum, i loooove chili! it took all i had not to eat it. :)

p.s. we're having a really awesome meeting about conference on monday apparently! im SO excited and SO curious to see what we're going to do! :)

wellllllllllllllllll, off to spend some time with the fam before bed. and doing a pre-check to make sure i have everything packed. tomorrow i'm going to check about ten more times. don't want a repeat of last weekend now do we? ;)

P.S. --- SMILE! it's the weekend! :) Happy Saturday my loves!
tehe :]

'cause God is writing my love story. :)

my friend just send me this song, "average girl" by barlow girls.

i can't lie...the song itself isn't amazing. but the lyrics are SO good. take a look!

So what I'm not your average girl
I don't meet the standards of this world
Chasing after boys is not my thing
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring

No more dating
I'm just waiting
Like sleeping beauty
My prince will come for me
No more dating I'm just waiting
'Cause God is writing my love story

Boys are bad that's certainly not true
'Cause God's preparing one for you
If you get tired waiting till he comes
Gods arms are the perfect place to run

Sleep that's the only thing
For me 'cause when I sleep Gods
Preparing one for me

what a great reminder! i know i am guilty of sometimes getting so impatient, or thinking why is God taking so long! but lately i've been very confident in the fact that God is spending time making sure me and the man i am called to marry are completely 100% ready for each other. how cool is it to think that God is working on someone right now, specifically for me. specifically for you.

and though this is easy to say, or to tell other people when they are feeling a little sad, or confused and not always as easy to believe. but seriously. God needs to fill that place in our heart before we ask any guy to do it. and even if you feel ready, maybe HE isn't. i just thought this song really emphasized that well.

right now, i'm content waiting. (not to mention i have zero time for a relationship at the moment! heh.) i can't say i will feel the same way tomorrow, or the next. but i'm learning to trust more in His plan. remember how i said that i was stuggling with that?!

i'm really trying. :)

okay, well i am off to stufy for my HUGE midterm tomorrow. i'm basically stuck cramming for the rest of the night! wish me luck!!

bring on the sweaters!

Ahh, it is so chilly out today! it's sunny. breezy. and cold. i love it! i bundled up in a sweater this morning and walked to class -bug free!- shivering. it was the first fall day of the year. :) it made me really happy.

days like this make me want to bundle up, sit outside, drink hot chocolate, & read. :) actually... maybe i will do that today!

today is my first day of tutoring for one of my classes. we have to tutor 1st grade students two days a week in reading and plan lessons and do assessments. i'm really nervous! i hope my student likes me. i'm hoping the teacher, grown up katie in me takes over today, and nervous college katie vanishes for an hour or so. ;)

hah, want to hear a ridiculous story? yes? perfect.

yesterday i drove back from school, i left early and was in a good mood and it was beautiful outside. then i got to school and realized i left ALL my dress clothes (which i needed for tutoring), and regular clothes at home. ummm major problem.

Thank goodness i have the most amazing parents in the world. literally. my dad drove my stuff alllllll the way out here for me yesterday without even thinking twice.

however, after my dad got here. i realized i left all my make up at home too. ordinarily i could just deal with it, and get it next weekend since i have to go home again to help out at a carnival with my kids i volunteer with. but. tutoring. i need to be dressed up/look nice.

so i had to buy all new make up last night. :( ooof. what a waste of money.

as my dad said though, "it was an excuse for us to have dinner together!" (2.5 hours away from home...but dinner nonetheless)


i'm really lucky. :)

Just a few things!

Happy Friday everyone!!

It is a rainy, gloomy Friday here and i just woke up froma much needed nap! I'm actually pretty sick this weekend, so this morning i drove home from school to get a little TLC from my family. :) not gonna lie, it's pretty great to be in your own bed at home when you're not feelin' too great.

well, first of all! a BIG thanks to EMILY! at... show me Your way for a blog award!!

Emily is such a sweetheart! I feel like I know her so well after reading her blog for a little over a month now! It's so great having someone to relate to in the Blog world. I don't follow up with many blogs but I love reading hers! I knoooow we'd for sure be friends IRL! Thanks Emily!!


I am supposed to nominate 5 other people, however... i don't really have too many followers because I'm kind of an awful blogger and tend to never comment on people's blogs. Oopsies!
I promise I do read them. Sometimes I'm just kind of lazy....and also, two of my followers i actually know in real life. haha So, I will refrain from that part, and just leave it at thanking miss emily. :)

let's see what else?! this week has been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions! remember in my post i said i was starting to feel far away from God?? i was starting to think about the fact that maybe God was using me a lot right now for my Bible study girls and others around me. and maybe He was using me SO much that it was just wearing me out. well, it's funny because our Sister at our Newman Center, gave a talk the other night...and in her talk she said sometimes, when we love others around us, part of us has to die - so others can grow, flourish, love, succeed, find God like we have.

which got me thinking.
and i was frustrated. i did not want part of myself to die! i didn't think i could bounce back from that. i was starting to get really, really angry. i felt forgotten. and alone. but then my view on things slowly started to change. and i started to feel okay about part of myself dying. because the thing about when part of us dies -- it comes back alive again even stronger than before.

(it only took getting to a point of absolute frustration and fear, a late night of sobbing with my fabulous discipler for me to get to this conclusion...bahaha oh the joys of being a girl)


Jesus died for us because He loves us. He gave us life through His death. which is exactly what we are doing for others by letting parts of ourselves die at times. so i think i am okay with letting part of myself die if it means the ones around me are growing. one of my Bible study girls told me that she is the happiest right now that she's been in awhile. so i guess God knows what He is doing... ;) even if i don't always like it.

on the ride home today i was thinking about this, and then "Only the good die young" came on the radio. it made me think that God was smiling at me. telling me that He has big plans for me, so to hang on a little longer. dig a little deeper. dive further into my faith. i will get through this.

(who knew you could get that much out of a silly little song, eh?)

sorry for the long, rambly post! have a WONDERFUL weekend!!

hit the road, gnats!

really gnats?! reeeallly?! did you really need to find your home in our boring little town and attack us as we walk to class??

i wish i was kidding but, we suddenly have a HUUUUGE gnat infestation out in the midwest apparently, because these.gnats.are.everywhere.

it's gross. it's disgusting. it's horrifying. (i promise you i am not being dramatic!)

they are everywhere!! people are afraid to leave their apartments, their dorms, their HOMES!! i walked to class today and had about 30 stuck to my clothes, a few stuck to my lip gloss, a few that i ate, in my eyes, in my NOSE! and for goodness sake, in my hair!!! i bet the fact that i have curly hair is like a happy little haven to these little nasty gnats.

i drenched myself in bugspray this morning...still no cure. i think i have probably consumed just as many gnats as food recently. want to hear the worst part of it all?! they aren't going anywhere.

not until the first frost.

which is not until decemeber usually.

i don't know if i can survive this long with the gnats living on me. they are not welcome here. noooo siree. blech blech blech.

anywaaaays.

tonight we are having a women's night, and i have to give a personal testimony/info about conference! i'm a little nervous that i won't say the right things. i get really nervous when i talk in front of large groups...something i should probably get over. fast. please say a prayer for me at 7:30 if you think of it?? =]

have a wonderful night!!

**Edit**
someone told me they are aphids.... but i still think they are gnats. baha. either way --- sick.

where are you?

i feel a little bit like God has abandoned me. and i KNOW he does not abandon anyone. and i have plenty of Bible verses to back that up, and i tell people that all the time. so. i know that everything i am saying is completely ridiculous, completely not true, completely silly.

but yet still,

i feel abandoned.

i feel really lost right now...

and i just kind of want to go home.

Who knew you could go wrong with pink?

I don't know if you know this about me, but i am pretty obsessed with the color pink. i'd say it's a good color to be obsessed with. so many pretty things are pink! flamingos, flowers, okay...so i'm blanking on other pink things. moral of the story is everything that is pink is wonderful in my eyes.

well. this view of mine changed for the worse.

i have been determined to bake an all pink cake for quite some time now. nothing fancy, just one of those strawberry cake mixes and some pink frosting. doesn't sound too bad, right?

at this point in the process it still was seeming like a good idea...

then it took a turn for the worse. the point at which i actually tasted it.

it was SO bad. pink overload (and not the kind i usually enjoy). an explosion of pepto-bismol.

my roommate said she liked it, maybe i'll give it to her to finish for me. :)


----

on another note...

Remember my raving about zumba?! how wonderful it is?! well i still think zumba is wonderful. but the other day me and my discipler went to zumba....and it was a new instructor. reg flag. halfway through sumba she turned it into strip tease lessons!! it was ridiculous, disgusting, humiliating, and hilarious all at the same time. we would end up at something like that. needless to say we did not participate in the strip tease aspect of this lesson. :)

It's ALMOST FRIDAY !!!!

re-directed.

okay. so i think today i had a reality check.

me and my friend went to work on this HUGE assessment project for one of our special education classes. we had to draw schools from a hat to determine which area we would have to go to, we got one of the furthest schools. so for the next few fridays we have to drive quite a ways to get to this school. i can;t say i was thrilled about this, but i'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason...and I'm going to a place that God hand-picked for me. so i needed to accept it. (and be excited!)

so today, we pull into this town...and it is the tiniest town i have ever seen. there is nothing there. suddenly i see a jimmy john's - 'there's hope!' i think to myself.

i start to wonder what people do for fun. i start to wonder where they go if there is an emergency. i start to wonder what the heck i'm doing there. (mostly i was just REALLY nervous.)

me and my friend were really dressed up, we wanted to look professional. our school requires we "represent them well." so we pull up to this tiny little school, and suddenly all my questions left my mind, all my fears were gone - i was overcome with this complete feeling of peace.

i see little kid's names written all over the sidewalk. i see windows wide open. i see doors wide open, unlike schools at home that have security at every entrance. i see smiling faces looking out at us. i hear teachers going over math facts, reading stratgies -- all blending together in just a way that made me feel really happy.

we signed in and got a visitor's pass, no one said anything to us at first. my feeling of peace still remains when a little lady walks up to us, asks us who we are and who we are here to see, then directs us on our way. we find our teacher we are working with, in the back of the school in a little room filled with endless supplies of teaching "goodies" and i see two students working dilligently with her. she hands us the IEP (individualized education plan) of the student we are assessing, and we get to work finding out info about our student.

as we're sitting in the small, simple library...i start to realize this is what it is all about. it is not about fancy appliances or fancy dress clothes. it is not about big towns with lots to do. it is not about having the most recent of everything out there. it is not about knowing everything all of the time. it's not about any of this.

just then a little boy walked up to me, "are you mrs. (fill in name here) "
me: no im not im sorry
little boy: its okay! thanks anyway!! you just looked like a teacher to me.

my heart was smiling so big in that moment. i looked like a teacher.

more importantly, i felt like a teacher.

when it comes down to it, that's what it is about. it's about these children. the ones that come to us with questions, fears, excitement, joy, anger, sadness. it us up to us to be everything to these students...and not just for a few hours of the day, but forever.

then another teacher came up to me, and asked me,
"if you don't mind my asking, what are you two working on?" (let's face it..we stuck out like sore thumbs)
so we explained it to him.
"Wow, that sounds great. i love to help out future teachers."
me: i know, i am pretty sure we are the luckiest people in the world.

so i guess. my reality check showed me...it is not always going to be easy. but if i just be myself, then it will all work out. it doesn't need to be fancy. it doesn't need to be perfect. i may end up in a huge city or a small town like this one (which i'm starting to love the idea of more and more). wherever i end up, it just needs to be me.

"Our Lord needs from us neither great deeds nor profound thoughts. Neither
intelligence nor talents. He cherishes simplicity." St. Therese of Lisieux

everyday is a new day.

Ooof. today i am feeling discouraged.

i think it's just the adjustment of a routine again... 4 days at home sure can throw a girl off!

lately i feel like one day i am either very sure of where i am/where i am going/what i am doing, and then the next it can be the complete opposite. it's kind of a gross muggy/foggy day. does anyone else's mood really rely on the weather sometimes?! i know mine does.

yikes!

but-- today i am hanging out with the priest at our newman center. it's actually called, "spiritual direction." hah, sounds weird right?! i promise it isn't! they are SO cool. and give amazing perspective on things. it's a great way to talk out all your concerns and get a "God-perspective" on it. i love having priest-friends! we have a sister too. she's pretty awesome. she loves to sing and dance!! we get along well because of that. ;)

... random ... i feel like trying some new recipes, does anyone know of anything tasty and easy to cook? :) speaking of food... my friend and i went grocery shopping last night around 9! it is an amazing time to shop!! the stores are dead, and so you can wander as much as you want and take as much time or little time as you want. it was fun. :)

i really don't have much else to say today. :/ i got stuck in a door while walking to class. that was embarrasing. i need to get myself re-motivated. on the plus side, Bible study is tonight! i hope it goes well!!

sorry...this was kind of all over the place!

pray, pray, pray!!

did you know that God blesses you with MORE time each time you spend time with Him in prayer?! so basically...those days you don't think you have enough time to pray, are actually the perfect times to pray! because God will allow you to get everything you needed done + more. just a fun fact for the day. :)

i learned that today. i think i've heard it before...but i can always use a reminder. :)

it is BEAUTIFUL out. so beautiful that i cannot stand to be inside doing homework!! :( my afternoon class was cancelled, and i want to take full advantage...go on a walk, go for ice cream, spend time with friends, sit outside & read. anything but my homework. :( so as you can see, i'm blogging about it instead ;) productive, yes?

so i'm going through my rec center pamphlet that lists all the classes i can take, and i've narrowed it down to these:

Cardio Kick: a high intensity workout feautirng kickboxing and plyometrics set to heart pounding music
Cardio Step: a high energy workout incorporating creative combinations and patterns on a step platform
Dancer's Definiton: this class blends Pilates, Yoga and fitness into one energizing workout meant to sculpt, lengthen, and strengthen every muscle in the body
Zumba: (yes!!!) you already have read about my obsession with zumba. so i'll spare you.

i'm really excited. i just hope i actually go! tonight my friends are going to a cycling class.... yikes! i hear those are REALLY intense. idk if that's quite what i'm looking for just yet... :]

does anyone know of a good book that i can use for discipleship? (discipleship is a program through FOCUS ((fellowship of Catholic University Students)) it is basically a christ-centered friendship...kind of like a mentorship program, i guess would be a somewhat different way to describe it. it's like a Bible study built for two! presssh. you will hear me referencing this a lot! because i have two girls that i disciple, and am being discipled as well) anyway. i want to find a good book that we could read for that. any ideas? I think there was a good St. Teresa Avila book, but i'm not sure...hmm.

Anyway....... i should probably get to that homework.

Have a wonderful day!

A little something I learned...

Mark 5:21-43


that whole section is good (obviously!), but the part i'm going to focus on is verses 35-43

35 While he was still speaking, people from the synagogue official's house arriced and said, "Your daughter has died; why trouble the teacher any longer?" 36 Disregarding the message that was reported Jeses said to the synagogue official, "Do not be afraid; just have faith." 37 He did not allow anyone to accompany him inside except Peter, James, and John, the brother of James. 38 When they arriced at the house of the synagogue official, he caught sight of a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. 39 So he went in and said to them, "Why this commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but asleep." 40 And they ridiculed him. Then he put them all out. He took along the child's father and mother and those who were with him and entered the room where the child was. 41 "Talitha koum," which means, "Little girl, I say to you, arise!" The girl, a child of twelve, arose immediately and walked around. [At that] they were utterly astounded. 43 He gave strict orders that no one should know this and said that she should be given something to eat.

okay! so! first of all -- completely sidenoted off of what i was originally going to say, but i love that throughout the Bible randomly I will find, "Do not be afraid." I remember the first time i started reading reading the Bible that was the first thing i noticed. i felt like God was reaching out and speaking directly to me telling me not to worry, not to be afraid, to trust in Him and i will be okay. :)

well, i think "talitha koum" is probably one of the coolest little Bible tidbits i have learned recently. i am going to do my best to explain it the way my friend did, but i'm warning you... it may not make sense. hah. i'll give it a go.

in this chapter, everyone had lost faith in this girl. they thought she had died. they were going to give up on her. but Jesus... He doesn't give up on anyone. He knew she was not dead, and all it took was for him to tell her "talitha koum" ARISE, and she was okay again. also, He said she needed to eat. she needed to be fed. just like WE need to arise and be fed as well. fed with Him in communion, fed with Him in His word, fed with Him in each aspect of our lives so that we are allowing Him to live through us. my friend told me that everytime before she receives communion, in her head she recites, "talitha koum." and it reminds her that Jesus wants her as much as she wants Him.

It's nice to remember that even though there are so many of us and only one God...He loves each of us like we are the only person in the whole world. who else can you say that about?

i don't know...i thought it was interesting. :) i definitely will remember that while i am sitting in mass from now on!

Talitha koum, everyone! Arise and be fed with our wonderful Lord. :)

Home Sweet Home

i am home for labor day weekend! it feels SO good. my afternoon class was cancelled today, so after my morning class i packed up my car and zoomed home! it felt a little strange to be driving out of town...but it was so much fun to blast my music and just drive.

as i pulled onto my street i saw my dad and my dog waiting outside for me. :) it was a long ride and just really good to see them. my mom had to work late tonight, so me and her are going for a late dinner when she gets home and to run a few quick errands! after i got home dad and i ran to the grocery store cuz let's face it -- without me around the house is not stocked with food! it's just plain sad. so we got some food, grabbed some lunch, and then i came home and took the longest nap ever with my pup. it felt really good. you don't realize how much school takes out of you till you lay down for a few hours!!

so, as i mentioned in my previous post - have any of you lovelys heard of 'Zumba' ? umm, well, let me tell you - if anywhere around you offers a zumba class, i strongly suggest... wait, let me change that, i demand that you take it! seriously you WON'T regret it. it's basically salsa mixed with hip hop mixed with aerobics. take it from someone who does NOT like working out.. zumba is the best work out class ever. seeing as i have never taken a work out class... i'm not the greatest judge on that. but still. trust me. granted i LOOOVE to dance, but i think you would still like this class even if dance wasn't your thing. it's my new all-time fave thing to do! my goal for you: find zumba somewhere near youuuuuu!!! hurry!

okay, onto other things... i had my first Bible study last night- it went so well!! my girls are just incredible. we didn't really dive into too much last night, it was more of a "get to know each other" night. i figured it would probably only last a half hour since it was the first night - but it lasted an hour and 40 minutes!! i was SO excited. we did some ice breakers, i made puppy chow and brought them that, we talked forever about all sorts of things. it was just great. i hope it stays this good once we start getting into the actual study. i can't wait to see where God takes us. i feel really good about it. content. in prayer i've been telling God that i am searching for peace in all aspects of my life. i'm hoping that i am starting to find it. :)

however, as i'm praying for peace, i (think) i am slowly having God's will for me revealed to me lately. it is something that is really challenging for me. especially when His will does not match my will. i know of course His will beats mine, hands down. but how do we make this easier? i tend to struggle with this a lot and could sure use some insight. :)

speaking of God. i learned something really cool yesterday. i'll blog about it when i get back to school because that's where i wrote it down at. :) or i'll do some research later and try to find it again.

Happy *almost* friday everyone!!!

Food.Fail.

today i decided to make some tuna helper for lunch...

easy enough, right?!

WRONG! there should be some sort of caution: when people named katie are involved, take extra precautions, beware, do not allow her near a stove.

it exploded. i know, you're thinking...'what?! exploding tuna helper?! that doesn't happen.' oh but i assure you it does...and it did. not to mention it almost started on fire. luckily, i am used to this sort of thing and think fast in these situations... i don't really know what that says about me.

and did you know meatballs explode as well? not that i did that at all today.. nope. course not. erm. let's just say i ended up going to my friends for dinner where we had shrimp scampi, sea bass, and cous cous- delicious! and no explosions involved. :)

So...i don't have too much to blog about tonight, i'm kind of tired. so i thought i'd post a little "get to know me" survey. why not? remind me to tell you all about Zumba next time i post. it's pretty fantastic.


Where Was Your Profile Pic Taken? justine's wedding -- in the hotel where all us girls were getting ready!

What Exactly Are You Wearing Right Now? pj pants and a sweatshirt. super comfy!

What Is Your Current Problem? my workload. sheesh.

What Makes You Happy Most? oh heck, everything makes me happy. but mostly my family, my dog, my friends, God and everything God brings into my life ;) thats just a creative way of getting out of the question.

What Song Are You Listening To At The Moment? hoedown throwdown from the hannah montana movie. (yes. and proud of it.)

Any Celeb You Would Marry?i don't really want to marry a celebrity.. =] (although....if a good offer came along....)

Ever Sang In Front Of A Large Audience?yep..not alone. or particularly well.

Has Anyone Ever Said You Looked Like A Celebrity?yeah, i don't remember who though.

Do You Still Watch Kids Movies Or Kids TV Shows?oh sure. anyone who says they don't is a liar.

Do You Speak Any Language?english =] un poco espanol. andd sign language. sort of.

Has Anyone You've Been Really Close With Passed Away?yes.

Whats Your Favorite Band?hmm i don't really have favorite bands - just favorite songs.

What's Something That Really Annoys You?erm. when people are late. ;] or rude. no good.

hmmmm.... if you all could only talk to one person for the rest of your life who would you choose? i was just thinking about that for some reason. :)



p.s. --- i get my placement for field base tomorrow! which is basically my first phase of student teaching for next Fall. please say a prayer if you think of it that i get a good placement? thanks. :)

Yikes...

Oh man, i am so sorry! totally flaked out on the blog world for quite some time there. but i'm back! things have been a little hectic lately. i'm starting to realize why everyone warned me about my junior year. but! it's okay. i can do it. right? right.

so my friends and i definitely rented the hannah montana movie last night. it's okay, go ahead and laugh at me. i LOVED it. i'm not even exaggerating it was an amazing movie! definitely buying it -- and that's a lot coming from me, i never buy movies. :)

so today was an absolutely beautiful day! the weather was perfect sweatshirt weather. it felt like fall.... :)

also, i'm starting to get the hang of this cooking thing. i made some really good pizzas the other night with my friends AND pancakes yesterday morning. plus some other random things.

so this week on wednesday is the first time my Bible study meets! this is my first time leading one and i am really excited. i have some great girls, and i'm excited to see where God takes us. any fun ideas for a unique ice breaker? i feel like we've all done 2 truths and a lie five thousand times now... i want something fun :)

anyway... i'll definitely write a longer update soon, but i just wanted to pop in and say hi! i've missed reading everyone's blogs and writing on here.

oh wait one more thing!! the other day i observed a 5th and 4th grade classroom, & self contained classroom and this just made my whole morning...

little girl: are you are new assistant teacher??
me: no, i'm just here for the day.
little girl: darnit! i wish you were staying i like you!
me: aw me too! i'll be back. :)

she was so sweet. and all through the lesson she kept waving at me! precious!!

okay i am off to snack, do some studying, and watch a little tv with my roomie. have a good night!

p.s. cool revelation my friend made to me, i want to write it on here so i don't forget. when Jesus says, "Beloved," in the Bible -- it's kind of like He is saying "BE LOVED." allow yourself to let Him love you and work his ways on your heart. it made my whole day happier.

roomie dinner!

well my roomie moved in today, and we decided to make something fun for dinner! soo, we cooked up some steaks, corn & cous cous -- i'm not gonna lie, i'm a little proud of us. it turned out soooo good! we only had a few minor mishaps err.. (exploding water, butter catastrophes, burnt cous cous, broken utensils, etc.)

but, the important part is we did not do anything too terrbile, and everything turned out great!!

we even got extra ambitious and made banana bread- soo delicious. and we also planned our dinner menu for the rest of the week. we have really dif. class schedules, so we thought it would be nice to try and cook/eat dinner together as much as possible.... here's our menu for the week:

sunday- manicotti, garlic bread, carrots
monday-tacos & beans
tuesday- chicken, corn & pasta
wednesday- burgers, watermelon, mac & cheese
thursday- order a pizza!
friday- salmon & rice

:) i'm excited. i just love making lists and having a set plan for everything...it makes life so much easier. and a lot more exciting!

i miss my family and my dog.

i love that we have so many windows in our apartment.....it makes it so easy to watch people outside. ooh man. i'm so creepy.....

sweet pea!

**Edit**
meet Sweet pea!!

yayyy!! shes soooo cute!!!

**end edit**

umm so, big fail on my part: i still need to take pictures. things have been a little crazy here, and so i haven't had a chance to take any pictures yet.

so the past few days have been filled with passing out flyers about our church to try and get new students involved. it's fun, but it's a little awkward. i've always considered myself a friendly person...but it definitely takes me out of my comfort zone to just walk up to people, hand them flyers, strike up an (awkward) conversation with them. but it's worth it so we can have some fun, new people around!!

i can't lie....i've been a really mopey blogger lately. and unfortunately i feel like it's going to continue. i'm just really crazy homesick - not wanting to be here at all. i feel like i have no reason to be here. i just feel like this is not the right school for me at all. and the hard part is im stuck with it - im halfway done, and do not want to pay back my scholarship...so. therefore, i.am.stuck.

i am always happy. like alwaaays usually. and i have not been happy at all lately - i've been the opposite of happy. it's weird. i don't like it. i feel really lost.

okay. sorry. enough complaining!!

my friends have a hamster in their apartment - it is a little itty, bitty dwarf hamster -- adorable. well, today they are getting a pet bunny too!! i'm so excited. its name is Sweet Pea, how cute is that?! i'm obsessed with animals. and so i'm totally excited to meet this new little cutie in just a little while.

we have a thing called "Outreach" at our church tonight - i'm not sure all that is going on, but i'm hoping it's fun. it's funny, a lot of my closest friends have moved away this year or are moving - funny thing is...i feel like im the one who moved away. i'm a junior now, isn't this supposed to feel like home now?

it feels far from it.

again, im so sorry for all the complaining. i just am at a loss as to what i should do.

upside - i just cooked noodles. :) yaaaaaaaaaaay. im learning to cook, one step at a time.

i opened up the Bible, to maybe get a little insight on how i'm feeling and i opened straight to this fabulous verse,

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."-Jeremiah 29:11

-as much as i want to believe this, i'm having a hard time with it lately.- *sigh*

maybe things will start looking up today? the sun is shining, it's friday, the new bunny is on it's way..... i'm not losing hope yet :)

I am a slacker.

yikes i've totally been slacking on my blog lately!

and also, is there a way for blogger to alert you when you get a comment on one of your posts? i was going through old blog entries and finding comments that i never saw. (Oops!) i'm sure there has to be some setting...i'll have to find it.

so today i took the best nap of my life. it was pretty great and pretty necessary.

last night i stayed up late with my friends playing catch phrase and watching movies. i don't know what got into us - but catch phrase became absolutely hilarious. everything was making me laugh for no reason at all. it felt good. :)

i have had the worst migraine all day long. Oof. not fun. and now that i took that nap i'm wide awake. sleep sounds so good right now, but i know it will be a long time still until i go to bed.

i went to surprise my friend the other night at a retreat he was helping lead. it was about 100 degrees out AND inside the retreat center! yikes.

this post was a little all over the place...i think next time i'll post pictures of our apartment :) keep in mind it is a college apartment so we can't do a whoooole lot...but i think it looks pretty cozy!

Oh...and i still have to do my headboard! i've been searching for the perfect fabric to use. haha. i was thinking a towely type fabric to sort of make it look like a beach towel...since my room has a beach theme?? we'll see. :)

i feel like a 5 year old starting her first day of kindergarten.

i do not want to go back to school.

not at all.

not even the slightest little bit...

Scary.

Today was such a scary day.

I woke up in a really good mood. My mom took the day off from work today so we were planning on either taking a trip to lake geneva for the day...or just shopping around here. and i woke up and it was so sunny and nice -- i woke up extra early, i was really anxious... it's almost like i knew the kind of day i was about to have.

my mom had to go to the emergency room today. i'm too tired to explain the details of the day because i feel like i've been retelling the story over and over again today. she is home now, and okay for the time being. but i don't really know how long that will last.

it just scared me a whole lot. i prayed all day long. i was thinking about how lost i'd be without my mom, one of my best friends. and then it led me to think how lost i'd be without my dad as well. my parents are my rock. the two people i can always ALWAYS rely on no matter what. no matter how much i mess up, no matter how horrible i feel, no matter what happens. they are there. and let's face it, both my parents have been really sick lately. moreso than they have let on. today just proved that fact.

did i mention i'm scared?

i feel like it is the worst possible time for me to go back to school.

i am so thankful for my mom, my dad, my dog ( =] )... maybe even my brother (haha totally kidding, of course him too!)

- i'm just really scared. -

i think i'm really good at pretending i'm not. but i am. more than i could possibly describe.
i actually think it's sort of funny. tonight one of my friends (who are all amazing btw. they were all SO good about making sure my mom was okay, offering anything they could to help, checking on me ... i'm lucky) asked me how i was doing. i considered it for a minute, put a huge smile on my face and said i was good. why do we do this? i feel like a lot of us do that. say we're okay when we're not. fight back tears that maybe we really need to stop fighting. smile to convince ourselves we're okay, when we may not be in that moment.

what if i had just replied with the truth?

" I'm not okay. I'm scared. "

Where did the weekend go?

I really can't get over how fast the days go by. It's crazy. I feel like I could blink and before I know it i'll be 80 years old. yikes! sometimes i just want a pause button. like right now for instance. that would be great. :)

this was a nice weekend... after my mishap with the gas-filling on friday, the rest of my day was not so great though. i had to go to the doctor and get a biopsy on my leg, and tons of bloodwork done! Oof. i'm not a huge fan of needles. i was so scared. i think i'm probably a doctor's worst nightmare (refer to dermatologist blog entry) but i did fine. :) i was a little proud of myself. i rambled away the whole entire time though to keep my mind off of it... i'm pretty sure i told the nurse my entire life story. they gave me a a disney princess sticker though. ha.

yesterday i did some more last minute things to get ready to move back to school and into my apartment. my dad and i drove all the way there, only to find they changed the lock and gave us the wrong key. it was a pretty big mess but we finally got everything straightened out. i was so tired by the end of it that i slept the whole way home. it was a good nap!! i ate at Cracker Barrel for lunch, it's such a fun restaurant! anyone heard of it? it's cute.

when we got home i watched "Return To Me" -- seriously an ADORABLE movie. if you haven't seen it, you definitely should. it was so sweet and i just loved it!

let's see..... today i went shopping at this outdoor mall by us with my mom. i didn't really buy much but it was perfect weather to be outside in. not too hot, but warm enough - with a nice breeze! then tonight i got to catch up with some of my friends over some delicious brownies. seriously, if you want to be my best friend forever- just give me sweets, cookies in particular. and cake. and cupcakes. yess. or maybe a whole bakery? i'd love you for life.

Random thought: I think i want to make my own headboard for my bed up at school. it doesn't have one. i was thinking of taking some of that thick white boarding (i don't know what it is called..) and just covering it in fabric. do you think that would work? i want something easy, but cute. hmm.

Okay well... i think i'm going to catch up on some tv. i DVR-ed Army Wives... i'm crazy about that show lately! Goodnight!

Seriously?! what is wrong with me??

well, let's just say this has been an eventful morning...

So. anyone out there ever explode gasoline all over themselves while trying to fill their tank??
*raises hand* oh right... that probably doesn't happen to most people, but it definitely just happened to me.

and i really wish i was exaggerating when i say EXPLODED. as in, practically my whole tank of gas shot out at me, covered me in gasoline, annnd got all over the car and ground. basically if you lit a match i'd have been in trouble. big trouble.

let me start out by explaining... (please do not think i am high maintenance, or spoiled, or anything because of what i am about to say. i promise you i am not.) i don't fill up my own gas tank much. i just really don't like filling up my tank, and my dad loves me and always offers to do it for me. what can i say? i'm lucky.

but today... we were going to the city, and my dad asked me to fill it up. so i agreed, i mean what could really go wrong?! obviously a lot. i felt like such an idiot. i just started laughing hysterically because i didn't know what else to do...that's when things got more awkward i had this little conversation...

*random guy walks over to me* let's call him... fred? okay. fred.

fred: *laughs awkwardly* this has not been my day...
me: you're telling me! i just exploded gas all over the place!!
fred: oh yikes. so is that why you were laughing? i thought you were laughing at me..
(what?!)
me: oh... no, i wasn't..
fred: because you see i started to fill up my car with diesel gas.
me: oh, oops!
fred: yeah. obviously we're both having bad mornings!
me: looks like it..

haha im not sure, it was strange. poor guy. why would i laugh at him?! sad day.

well. after all of this we finally go to chicago, and to my friend's apartment....the first thing she said to me was, "Do you smell gasoline??"

i simply replied with, "ah yes, it's my new perfume! so you don't like it?!"

:)

i finished off the morning with a stop at SuperDawg! I have heard sooo much about this place from everyone and finally went! it was great! delicious and so much fun. :) i definitely want to go back.

well off to do a thousand + one things! happy friday!!