re-directed.

okay. so i think today i had a reality check.

me and my friend went to work on this HUGE assessment project for one of our special education classes. we had to draw schools from a hat to determine which area we would have to go to, we got one of the furthest schools. so for the next few fridays we have to drive quite a ways to get to this school. i can;t say i was thrilled about this, but i'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason...and I'm going to a place that God hand-picked for me. so i needed to accept it. (and be excited!)

so today, we pull into this town...and it is the tiniest town i have ever seen. there is nothing there. suddenly i see a jimmy john's - 'there's hope!' i think to myself.

i start to wonder what people do for fun. i start to wonder where they go if there is an emergency. i start to wonder what the heck i'm doing there. (mostly i was just REALLY nervous.)

me and my friend were really dressed up, we wanted to look professional. our school requires we "represent them well." so we pull up to this tiny little school, and suddenly all my questions left my mind, all my fears were gone - i was overcome with this complete feeling of peace.

i see little kid's names written all over the sidewalk. i see windows wide open. i see doors wide open, unlike schools at home that have security at every entrance. i see smiling faces looking out at us. i hear teachers going over math facts, reading stratgies -- all blending together in just a way that made me feel really happy.

we signed in and got a visitor's pass, no one said anything to us at first. my feeling of peace still remains when a little lady walks up to us, asks us who we are and who we are here to see, then directs us on our way. we find our teacher we are working with, in the back of the school in a little room filled with endless supplies of teaching "goodies" and i see two students working dilligently with her. she hands us the IEP (individualized education plan) of the student we are assessing, and we get to work finding out info about our student.

as we're sitting in the small, simple library...i start to realize this is what it is all about. it is not about fancy appliances or fancy dress clothes. it is not about big towns with lots to do. it is not about having the most recent of everything out there. it is not about knowing everything all of the time. it's not about any of this.

just then a little boy walked up to me, "are you mrs. (fill in name here) "
me: no im not im sorry
little boy: its okay! thanks anyway!! you just looked like a teacher to me.

my heart was smiling so big in that moment. i looked like a teacher.

more importantly, i felt like a teacher.

when it comes down to it, that's what it is about. it's about these children. the ones that come to us with questions, fears, excitement, joy, anger, sadness. it us up to us to be everything to these students...and not just for a few hours of the day, but forever.

then another teacher came up to me, and asked me,
"if you don't mind my asking, what are you two working on?" (let's face it..we stuck out like sore thumbs)
so we explained it to him.
"Wow, that sounds great. i love to help out future teachers."
me: i know, i am pretty sure we are the luckiest people in the world.

so i guess. my reality check showed me...it is not always going to be easy. but if i just be myself, then it will all work out. it doesn't need to be fancy. it doesn't need to be perfect. i may end up in a huge city or a small town like this one (which i'm starting to love the idea of more and more). wherever i end up, it just needs to be me.

"Our Lord needs from us neither great deeds nor profound thoughts. Neither
intelligence nor talents. He cherishes simplicity." St. Therese of Lisieux